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MrMike: Still in the same boat as 4 years ago
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 709005" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>My son is 28 and also mentally ill. I kicked him out when he was 23 and for me, it is hard still to figure out if it was the right thing to do.</p><p></p><p>I know I HAD to kick him out. He was hostile. Would not seek treatment. Damaged property. Would not work. Etcetera.</p><p></p><p>Why am I not convinced it was the right thing to do, even though it was the only thing I COULD DO?</p><p></p><p>Because my son became a user of people. A manipulator and a liar. He became a pothead. Nothing any more was real in his life--only his deceptions. He began to believe in his deceptions. He is the only one who believes, really.</p><p></p><p>You see. I still believe on one level that I am responsible for the outcome of his life. WRONG. He is.</p><p>Job Corps accepts disabled young adults. They continue taking disabled adults past the cut off which is 26 I think. This program is free. Free training, room and board at centers across the country.</p><p></p><p>Being mentally ill puts more responsibility on these kids not less. Every single person has to deal with their own life. Only to a limited extent do we get to choose the conditions or the circumstances. Nobody gets to chose what intrinsic talents and capacities they bring to the table. The only thing we really can control is the effort we put into to it. Motivation comes from challenges and obstacles. If we take away their challenges, we help to ensure that they are never motivated to change.</p><p></p><p>It sounds like your son has changed some, but the ante has to be raised and the bar raised too. He has to have a new bottom line. If he cannot put it in place, you must. I must, too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 709005, member: 18958"] My son is 28 and also mentally ill. I kicked him out when he was 23 and for me, it is hard still to figure out if it was the right thing to do. I know I HAD to kick him out. He was hostile. Would not seek treatment. Damaged property. Would not work. Etcetera. Why am I not convinced it was the right thing to do, even though it was the only thing I COULD DO? Because my son became a user of people. A manipulator and a liar. He became a pothead. Nothing any more was real in his life--only his deceptions. He began to believe in his deceptions. He is the only one who believes, really. You see. I still believe on one level that I am responsible for the outcome of his life. WRONG. He is. Job Corps accepts disabled young adults. They continue taking disabled adults past the cut off which is 26 I think. This program is free. Free training, room and board at centers across the country. Being mentally ill puts more responsibility on these kids not less. Every single person has to deal with their own life. Only to a limited extent do we get to choose the conditions or the circumstances. Nobody gets to chose what intrinsic talents and capacities they bring to the table. The only thing we really can control is the effort we put into to it. Motivation comes from challenges and obstacles. If we take away their challenges, we help to ensure that they are never motivated to change. It sounds like your son has changed some, but the ante has to be raised and the bar raised too. He has to have a new bottom line. If he cannot put it in place, you must. I must, too. [/QUOTE]
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MrMike: Still in the same boat as 4 years ago
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