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Mrs. Totoro do you have a family member who has Autism?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 377017" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>We've become good friends with difficult child 3's speech therapist and her daughter. The mother & I get on very well; the daughter (now 11; about 5 when we first met them) is delightful, brilliant, talented - amazing kid. Very empathic, very motivated. We met soon after difficult child 3 was able to be told about his autism (he was finally aware enough to understand a simple explanation). difficult child 3 knows he is bright, he now understands why some tasks are difficult for him and why fitting in socially is a problem for him. But back when he was told, I think difficult child 3 was focussing mostly on his splinter skills.</p><p></p><p></p><p>One day soon after he'd met speech therapist's daughter, difficult child 3 said to her mother, "Is your daughter autistic?"</p><p>The mother was taken aback and (I think) a bit horrified and shocked at the thought her only, precious, brilliant daughter could be considered at all to have autism. "No - why do you say that?" she asked difficult child 3.</p><p>"Because she's so very, very smart," he told her.</p><p></p><p>The daughter, on the other hand, has grown up having an amazing understanding of difficult child 3 and sees him as a good friend. She had a difficult time believing there was anything wrong with him, until she saw his first tantrum and heard him use words she had never heard before! She was horrified - but understood a lot more.</p><p></p><p>I do find that the kids who gravitate to our kids are ones with either a very high level of empathy and compassion, or they have some sort of connection to autism themselves. Either a family member with it, or they feel a kinship due to having some similar symptoms themselves. In the case of difficult child 3's friend, I think it's her genius-level IQ plus knowing she's a fish out of water among her classmates. I was also a bright kid who felt very alone when young, because other kids would resent my intelligence and put me down for it. I learned to hide it as much as I could but it was never enough. I was a child growing up in a family of adults and frankly, never did learn to get along with other kids, while I was a kid myself. I hated childhood, at least the social aspects of it. I don't have the same problems as an adult. Although I still find myself feeling impatient with people who seem to deliberately choose stupidity as a coping strategy. But I just back away from those, I avoid engaging them.</p><p></p><p>Kids can be amazing. K2 may be simply a very bright child, feeling isolated with nobody on her mental wavelength. If she has connected with K, I would consider that perhaps K is brighter than has perhaps been recognised. Higher intelligence can also lead to more tantrums in High-Functioning Autism (HFA) - the frustration level is higher.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 377017, member: 1991"] We've become good friends with difficult child 3's speech therapist and her daughter. The mother & I get on very well; the daughter (now 11; about 5 when we first met them) is delightful, brilliant, talented - amazing kid. Very empathic, very motivated. We met soon after difficult child 3 was able to be told about his autism (he was finally aware enough to understand a simple explanation). difficult child 3 knows he is bright, he now understands why some tasks are difficult for him and why fitting in socially is a problem for him. But back when he was told, I think difficult child 3 was focussing mostly on his splinter skills. One day soon after he'd met speech therapist's daughter, difficult child 3 said to her mother, "Is your daughter autistic?" The mother was taken aback and (I think) a bit horrified and shocked at the thought her only, precious, brilliant daughter could be considered at all to have autism. "No - why do you say that?" she asked difficult child 3. "Because she's so very, very smart," he told her. The daughter, on the other hand, has grown up having an amazing understanding of difficult child 3 and sees him as a good friend. She had a difficult time believing there was anything wrong with him, until she saw his first tantrum and heard him use words she had never heard before! She was horrified - but understood a lot more. I do find that the kids who gravitate to our kids are ones with either a very high level of empathy and compassion, or they have some sort of connection to autism themselves. Either a family member with it, or they feel a kinship due to having some similar symptoms themselves. In the case of difficult child 3's friend, I think it's her genius-level IQ plus knowing she's a fish out of water among her classmates. I was also a bright kid who felt very alone when young, because other kids would resent my intelligence and put me down for it. I learned to hide it as much as I could but it was never enough. I was a child growing up in a family of adults and frankly, never did learn to get along with other kids, while I was a kid myself. I hated childhood, at least the social aspects of it. I don't have the same problems as an adult. Although I still find myself feeling impatient with people who seem to deliberately choose stupidity as a coping strategy. But I just back away from those, I avoid engaging them. Kids can be amazing. K2 may be simply a very bright child, feeling isolated with nobody on her mental wavelength. If she has connected with K, I would consider that perhaps K is brighter than has perhaps been recognised. Higher intelligence can also lead to more tantrums in High-Functioning Autism (HFA) - the frustration level is higher. Marg [/QUOTE]
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