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Musing Aloud: Can a truce be called? Can you reach out to your child with-in your difficult child?
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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 473423" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>Signorina, I think that your boundaries sound reasonable as well.</p><p>That said, it seems to me that the difficulty will not be in laying out the rules and making them clear, but in sticking to your guns and enforcing the boundaries. Every. Single. Time. If you're not totally committed to being consistent with a boundary you have set, then don't set it otherwise you'll undermine your own cause.</p><p></p><p>An example from my own experience...</p><p>My difficult child's behaviour can be horrible. The lack of social skills combined with rapid mood cycling can lead to wildly inappropriate behaviour, especially when he hasn't been sleeping properly or his medications are off schedule (which happens whenever his sleep schedule goes off). </p><p></p><p>One of my rules is, if you're not properly medicated and rested and/or your behaviour is off, you're not allowed to be around the younger children. This has resulted in my removing difficult child from family gatherings, parties, in one case in the middle of Christmas dinner. It's horrible, I feel awful, but it's a boundary that I created so I have to stick to it. Backing down even once shows difficult child that I'm not serious about it, and he pushes back even harder to test the limits. (I have learned this the hard way). It's not fun at all.</p><p></p><p>I guess my point is, whatever you establish, it has to be something that you and the rest of your family can live with. If it's too hard for you all to keep up, then you shouldn't do it.</p><p></p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 473423, member: 3907"] Signorina, I think that your boundaries sound reasonable as well. That said, it seems to me that the difficulty will not be in laying out the rules and making them clear, but in sticking to your guns and enforcing the boundaries. Every. Single. Time. If you're not totally committed to being consistent with a boundary you have set, then don't set it otherwise you'll undermine your own cause. An example from my own experience... My difficult child's behaviour can be horrible. The lack of social skills combined with rapid mood cycling can lead to wildly inappropriate behaviour, especially when he hasn't been sleeping properly or his medications are off schedule (which happens whenever his sleep schedule goes off). One of my rules is, if you're not properly medicated and rested and/or your behaviour is off, you're not allowed to be around the younger children. This has resulted in my removing difficult child from family gatherings, parties, in one case in the middle of Christmas dinner. It's horrible, I feel awful, but it's a boundary that I created so I have to stick to it. Backing down even once shows difficult child that I'm not serious about it, and he pushes back even harder to test the limits. (I have learned this the hard way). It's not fun at all. I guess my point is, whatever you establish, it has to be something that you and the rest of your family can live with. If it's too hard for you all to keep up, then you shouldn't do it. Trinity [/QUOTE]
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Musing Aloud: Can a truce be called? Can you reach out to your child with-in your difficult child?
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