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Musing Aloud: Can a truce be called? Can you reach out to your child with-in your difficult child?
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 473689"><p>Well, cross your fingers for me. I *think* he is coming home for the weekend to put in some hours at his old job to earn some $. I am not getting my hopes up nor will I lay out the red carpet. I haven't told my younger boys just in case he changes his mind. We are going to skip the talk and the script for now. Treat him like an inlaw - polite and cool. </p><p></p><p>Should the weekend (really 36 hours) go well, we will drive up to see him at school, and have "the talk."</p><p></p><p>I realize it's likely that he could get angry and become more entrenched in his "independent at any cost" lifestyle. I realize he could agree but be lying. I realize things could get a whole lot worse before better. Or worse & never better.</p><p>But I am going to give it a shot. Give him some options to consider before he is so desperate that he will do anything. Try to reel him back in a little bit by bit before its too late. And if it's all ready too late, maybe I will sleep better knowing I tried.</p><p></p><p>FWIW-although this is the therapist's advice -he didn't put much hope in it. I think it's an exercise that's more about empowering us vs saving difficult child. A chance for us to be proactive instead of reactive. His strongest advice was to be prepared for the call from jail which he is sure we will get. And is probably the best case scenario because it means he's alive and jail may scare him enough to get help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 473689"] Well, cross your fingers for me. I *think* he is coming home for the weekend to put in some hours at his old job to earn some $. I am not getting my hopes up nor will I lay out the red carpet. I haven't told my younger boys just in case he changes his mind. We are going to skip the talk and the script for now. Treat him like an inlaw - polite and cool. Should the weekend (really 36 hours) go well, we will drive up to see him at school, and have "the talk." I realize it's likely that he could get angry and become more entrenched in his "independent at any cost" lifestyle. I realize he could agree but be lying. I realize things could get a whole lot worse before better. Or worse & never better. But I am going to give it a shot. Give him some options to consider before he is so desperate that he will do anything. Try to reel him back in a little bit by bit before its too late. And if it's all ready too late, maybe I will sleep better knowing I tried. FWIW-although this is the therapist's advice -he didn't put much hope in it. I think it's an exercise that's more about empowering us vs saving difficult child. A chance for us to be proactive instead of reactive. His strongest advice was to be prepared for the call from jail which he is sure we will get. And is probably the best case scenario because it means he's alive and jail may scare him enough to get help. [/QUOTE]
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Musing Aloud: Can a truce be called? Can you reach out to your child with-in your difficult child?
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