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Musing Aloud: Can a truce be called? Can you reach out to your child with-in your difficult child?
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 473716" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>Patriotsgirl...for most of us if we lived in a state with legalized pot, these kids could get a script and we wouldnt be having these discussions. I am honestly considering trying to get Cory to move to one if all this stuff with Cory and voc rehab plus the visitation doesnt work out well. Actually Difficult Child has legalized pot so he could move up near Jamie. Hey...maybe that is why the government is whacky...lol! </p><p></p><p>I also know plenty of folks who smoke recreationally and work every day. They support their family's and are fine upstanding members of society. As one of them I know says "God put it on the earth, man makes pills and alcohol." But do remember I live around Native Americans. </p><p></p><p>As far as the IM AN ADULT AND I SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO WHAT I WANT statements. Talk to him about courtesy. Say things about how yes, he is a young adult now but that when he is in your home he needs to give you the courtesy that any other guest in your home would give you. And that he would give to anyone else if he was staying in their home. Unless he was staying in a motel, he would give any host or hostess the courtesy of letting them know if he was going out, if he would be home for dinner, and if he would be home that night. If the host wanted to lock up that night, he would be willing to be in by a certain time so he didnt disturb their sleep. </p><p></p><p>If you lay it out like that and tell him you are not trying to control him and that you are not trying to say where he can go but that you just need to know if he will be home for dinner and that you need to have him in the house by x time at night so you can go to sleep. Most times I have found my kids understood better if I explained the why's behind my rules if I didnt just lay them down as "because I said so" when they were adults. Now as to the cars...those were...because I said so...lol.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 473716, member: 1514"] Patriotsgirl...for most of us if we lived in a state with legalized pot, these kids could get a script and we wouldnt be having these discussions. I am honestly considering trying to get Cory to move to one if all this stuff with Cory and voc rehab plus the visitation doesnt work out well. Actually Difficult Child has legalized pot so he could move up near Jamie. Hey...maybe that is why the government is whacky...lol! I also know plenty of folks who smoke recreationally and work every day. They support their family's and are fine upstanding members of society. As one of them I know says "God put it on the earth, man makes pills and alcohol." But do remember I live around Native Americans. As far as the IM AN ADULT AND I SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO WHAT I WANT statements. Talk to him about courtesy. Say things about how yes, he is a young adult now but that when he is in your home he needs to give you the courtesy that any other guest in your home would give you. And that he would give to anyone else if he was staying in their home. Unless he was staying in a motel, he would give any host or hostess the courtesy of letting them know if he was going out, if he would be home for dinner, and if he would be home that night. If the host wanted to lock up that night, he would be willing to be in by a certain time so he didnt disturb their sleep. If you lay it out like that and tell him you are not trying to control him and that you are not trying to say where he can go but that you just need to know if he will be home for dinner and that you need to have him in the house by x time at night so you can go to sleep. Most times I have found my kids understood better if I explained the why's behind my rules if I didnt just lay them down as "because I said so" when they were adults. Now as to the cars...those were...because I said so...lol. [/QUOTE]
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Musing Aloud: Can a truce be called? Can you reach out to your child with-in your difficult child?
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