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Parent Emeritus
Musing Aloud: Can a truce be called? Can you reach out to your child with-in your difficult child?
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 475324"><p>Thanks Janet. There is nothing normal about this. I only wish there were. He's using and likely dealing - just because he can be pleasant doesn't make it something that's not problematic. But it's a good start to restoring some sort of a relationship. </p><p></p><p>Since last year (March?) he has been lying to us - prolifically and repeatedly and ridiculously. About EVERYTHING-big things and dumb things. He even signed a lease on his apartment without telling us and we have no doubt he intended to keep it a secret while we paid the $6500 for his unused dorm room. And why an apartment as a sophomore? So he can use drugs & drink away from the campus police. I don't want to think about how he is paying for it all. </p><p></p><p>He had a golden opportunity -a goal of PhD to MD (his plan not mine) and the motivation and college fund to accomplish it. Now he has a 2.0 GPA and a drug habit.</p><p></p><p>I think it's the complete loss of motivation coupled with the lies that scares me the most. Which is why I am hoping to find a balance that will keep our home and our family open to him without us becoming his doormat. </p><p></p><p>When we thought we were compromising and giving second chances-we actually just lowered the bar.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 475324"] Thanks Janet. There is nothing normal about this. I only wish there were. He's using and likely dealing - just because he can be pleasant doesn't make it something that's not problematic. But it's a good start to restoring some sort of a relationship. Since last year (March?) he has been lying to us - prolifically and repeatedly and ridiculously. About EVERYTHING-big things and dumb things. He even signed a lease on his apartment without telling us and we have no doubt he intended to keep it a secret while we paid the $6500 for his unused dorm room. And why an apartment as a sophomore? So he can use drugs & drink away from the campus police. I don't want to think about how he is paying for it all. He had a golden opportunity -a goal of PhD to MD (his plan not mine) and the motivation and college fund to accomplish it. Now he has a 2.0 GPA and a drug habit. I think it's the complete loss of motivation coupled with the lies that scares me the most. Which is why I am hoping to find a balance that will keep our home and our family open to him without us becoming his doormat. When we thought we were compromising and giving second chances-we actually just lowered the bar. [/QUOTE]
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Musing Aloud: Can a truce be called? Can you reach out to your child with-in your difficult child?
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