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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 650379" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Echo, I like that dream. Hang onto the good feelings from that dream. </p><p></p><p>They are real, too.</p><p></p><p>Like you said, there have been good, happy times...moments...maybe they have been fleeting and not as many in recent years as we would like, but still...</p><p></p><p>Sometimes I watch husband and his interactions with his daughters. One lives three states away and they talk sometimes by phone and we see her a couple of times a year. </p><p></p><p>One is still in college and they connect more---he's paying so that is necessary, but he doesn't see her an awful lot.</p><p></p><p>Maybe this is how it is supposed to be, when things are normal. easy child and fiancee live here and I talk to him periodically...maybe once a week depending on circumstances. Or the need to talk.</p><p></p><p>I talked to difficult child last night via FB message, a few back and forths. All well here, how about you? Nothing substantial.</p><p></p><p>Maybe this is normal. I don't know.</p><p></p><p>This weekend, easy child talked to me about the upcoming wedding, the fact that they aren't going to have a minister or priest officiate because they are "probably agnostic..." We talked about it. I felt tears come to my eyes but I tried not to go there. I do want him to be able to be honest with me, but wow, that was hard to hear. </p><p></p><p>Then he said he wasn't planning on having difficult child stand up with him at the wedding. That was harder to hear. "Well, we haven't been close."</p><p></p><p>Ugh. </p><p></p><p>There is no ideal scenario. The fairy tales and movies and romance novels aren't true. There is no white horse and Cinderella ending.</p><p></p><p>Ugh. </p><p></p><p>Maybe...we are to find moments of happiness, instances of hope, and relish the moments when just for a minute or two, life feels like it's all coming together perfectly. </p><p></p><p>We can't know joy without knowing pain. </p><p></p><p>I don't know. Saturday, after the conversation with easy child, I had to turn inward for a while. I took a nap, and then I was better. I felt wounded. Yesterday, telling it to a friend, I felt the wounding again. So, I'm being kinder to myself right now. Lots to do, but I'm taking my own pulse and just being a little nicer to me.</p><p></p><p>Warm hugs to you friend.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 650379, member: 17542"] Echo, I like that dream. Hang onto the good feelings from that dream. They are real, too. Like you said, there have been good, happy times...moments...maybe they have been fleeting and not as many in recent years as we would like, but still... Sometimes I watch husband and his interactions with his daughters. One lives three states away and they talk sometimes by phone and we see her a couple of times a year. One is still in college and they connect more---he's paying so that is necessary, but he doesn't see her an awful lot. Maybe this is how it is supposed to be, when things are normal. easy child and fiancee live here and I talk to him periodically...maybe once a week depending on circumstances. Or the need to talk. I talked to difficult child last night via FB message, a few back and forths. All well here, how about you? Nothing substantial. Maybe this is normal. I don't know. This weekend, easy child talked to me about the upcoming wedding, the fact that they aren't going to have a minister or priest officiate because they are "probably agnostic..." We talked about it. I felt tears come to my eyes but I tried not to go there. I do want him to be able to be honest with me, but wow, that was hard to hear. Then he said he wasn't planning on having difficult child stand up with him at the wedding. That was harder to hear. "Well, we haven't been close." Ugh. There is no ideal scenario. The fairy tales and movies and romance novels aren't true. There is no white horse and Cinderella ending. Ugh. Maybe...we are to find moments of happiness, instances of hope, and relish the moments when just for a minute or two, life feels like it's all coming together perfectly. We can't know joy without knowing pain. I don't know. Saturday, after the conversation with easy child, I had to turn inward for a while. I took a nap, and then I was better. I felt wounded. Yesterday, telling it to a friend, I felt the wounding again. So, I'm being kinder to myself right now. Lots to do, but I'm taking my own pulse and just being a little nicer to me. Warm hugs to you friend. [/QUOTE]
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