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MWM - How are you doing?
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterby" data-source="post: 308709" data-attributes="member: 7083"><p>I had to think about this a bit before I responded.</p><p></p><p>I think you're going to have to draw a hard line with son. With these new revelations (at least for me) into his behavior, I wouldn't be surprised if he's blaming daughter in law for some of the things that actually <em>he</em> is doing and/or saying. He might even be the reason for the way she feels about you - you don't know what he's said to her.</p><p></p><p>So, the hard line...I think someone mentioned an email (brain is on half power today, sorry):</p><p></p><p>Dear Son, We are having Thanksgiving Dinner at Daughter's house at X o'clock. We would love to have you there. If this doesn't fit into your schedule, maybe we can get together for a bit earlier or later in the day. However, we can only stay one night. You are welcome to come visit me at any time with advance notice. Love, Mom</p><p></p><p>The thing is to be direct. Leave nothing open to negotiation. This is what we're doing, this is where we'll be. Period.</p><p></p><p>I really hope that Daughter doesn't cave in to Son's demands for her to go cook somewhere else. I hope that she doesn't feel like she needs to keep the peace; it's not her responsibility. If Son wants to cook dinner at Dad's, more power to him. But, he doesn't get to decide where Daughter cooks dinner.</p><p></p><p>I'm saying this with love, but you need to stop giving Son the power to hurt you. A line in the sand must be drawn.</p><p></p><p>(((hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterby, post: 308709, member: 7083"] I had to think about this a bit before I responded. I think you're going to have to draw a hard line with son. With these new revelations (at least for me) into his behavior, I wouldn't be surprised if he's blaming daughter in law for some of the things that actually [I]he[/I] is doing and/or saying. He might even be the reason for the way she feels about you - you don't know what he's said to her. So, the hard line...I think someone mentioned an email (brain is on half power today, sorry): Dear Son, We are having Thanksgiving Dinner at Daughter's house at X o'clock. We would love to have you there. If this doesn't fit into your schedule, maybe we can get together for a bit earlier or later in the day. However, we can only stay one night. You are welcome to come visit me at any time with advance notice. Love, Mom The thing is to be direct. Leave nothing open to negotiation. This is what we're doing, this is where we'll be. Period. I really hope that Daughter doesn't cave in to Son's demands for her to go cook somewhere else. I hope that she doesn't feel like she needs to keep the peace; it's not her responsibility. If Son wants to cook dinner at Dad's, more power to him. But, he doesn't get to decide where Daughter cooks dinner. I'm saying this with love, but you need to stop giving Son the power to hurt you. A line in the sand must be drawn. (((hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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