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Substance Abuse
My 25 y/o got kicked out of rehab today. ..
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 672719" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi HMT,</p><p>Welcome to this forum, so sorry for the reason and your need to be here. It is a good place to share, when faced with your situation. Hugs for your hurting mama heart.</p><p>I went to counseling, to sort out what was happening, it helped to hear a professionals view on addiction, and the affect on families of addicts. I brought my son to counseling, so he could sort it out in his 13 year old mind, what was happening to his sisters.</p><p></p><p>Speaking from experience, I do not deal with it.</p><p>Well, of course I do, it is there in the back of my mind, <em>where it belongs. </em></p><p></p><p>My daughter is an adult, she has made some horrible choices. She has been in and out of our home, and slipped away one night about four months ago. I had no contact, until recently.</p><p></p><p>When she and her sister, ousted <em>themselves </em>from our home those four months ago, I found CD. It has been a lifeline of support and comfort, and helped me to see again and again, many things about my d cs and addiction and its affects on them, and me, and our family.</p><p></p><p>In the course of all of this, I am finally able to say that I am <em><strong>done</strong></em> going down with their decisions and choices. It is because, I realized I have no control over what their path is. It is because I saw what was happening when they were here, I was spiraling down with them, my heart, mind, emotions, it was exhausting.</p><p>It is a bottomless pit, that saps away peace.</p><p></p><p>I decided to give my two to a higher power, and when I find my thoughts drifting to awfullizing about what could be happening to them, I say a quick prayer.</p><p>They no longer occupy my house, now I have to stop allowing their choices to occupy my heart and mind.</p><p></p><p>HMT, you have value, and you have a life to live. If your son was doing well, you would be going about your life, with nary a worry.</p><p>We still need to go on living, even though our d cs are making bad choices, because it is their choice to be where they are. There is nothing we can do about it. Nothing.</p><p></p><p>With that, how do we fill that empty hole?</p><p>By living.</p><p>One day at a time.</p><p>By realizing that we can show our d cs through our own actions and mindset,</p><p>what living strong, and <em>determined to live joyfully, is</em>.</p><p>We show our d cs by carrying on with our lives,</p><p>their own endless possibilities.</p><p></p><p>It is a hard concept to grasp and practice. It starts with giving in to the notion that we can't direct or control our adult children's actions and choices. Once we know this, we have to pick ourselves up by the bootstraps, somehow, and carry on with our lives.</p><p></p><p>You have value HMT, and every reason to live a good life. You have a future ahead of you.</p><p></p><p>One day, one step at a time.</p><p>You will be able to do this,to get through it, because you have to.</p><p>Know, too that homeless are resourceful and survivors.</p><p>There is much help for them, but, <em>they have to want it.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>There is a great article on the top of the PE forum page on detachment, it is very helpful.</p><p></p><p>Others will come along and share with you. Please continue to post, it is very helpful.</p><p>If you add a bit to your signature, that will help folks understand your situation.</p><p></p><p>You are not alone HMT, and you are not helpless. There are many here in your situation.</p><p>We understand, and we help one another.</p><p></p><p>Peace be with you.</p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 672719, member: 19522"] Hi HMT, Welcome to this forum, so sorry for the reason and your need to be here. It is a good place to share, when faced with your situation. Hugs for your hurting mama heart. I went to counseling, to sort out what was happening, it helped to hear a professionals view on addiction, and the affect on families of addicts. I brought my son to counseling, so he could sort it out in his 13 year old mind, what was happening to his sisters. Speaking from experience, I do not deal with it. Well, of course I do, it is there in the back of my mind, [I]where it belongs. [/I] My daughter is an adult, she has made some horrible choices. She has been in and out of our home, and slipped away one night about four months ago. I had no contact, until recently. When she and her sister, ousted [I]themselves [/I]from our home those four months ago, I found CD. It has been a lifeline of support and comfort, and helped me to see again and again, many things about my d cs and addiction and its affects on them, and me, and our family. In the course of all of this, I am finally able to say that I am [I][B]done[/B][/I] going down with their decisions and choices. It is because, I realized I have no control over what their path is. It is because I saw what was happening when they were here, I was spiraling down with them, my heart, mind, emotions, it was exhausting. It is a bottomless pit, that saps away peace. I decided to give my two to a higher power, and when I find my thoughts drifting to awfullizing about what could be happening to them, I say a quick prayer. They no longer occupy my house, now I have to stop allowing their choices to occupy my heart and mind. HMT, you have value, and you have a life to live. If your son was doing well, you would be going about your life, with nary a worry. We still need to go on living, even though our d cs are making bad choices, because it is their choice to be where they are. There is nothing we can do about it. Nothing. With that, how do we fill that empty hole? By living. One day at a time. By realizing that we can show our d cs through our own actions and mindset, what living strong, and [I]determined to live joyfully, is[/I]. We show our d cs by carrying on with our lives, their own endless possibilities. It is a hard concept to grasp and practice. It starts with giving in to the notion that we can't direct or control our adult children's actions and choices. Once we know this, we have to pick ourselves up by the bootstraps, somehow, and carry on with our lives. You have value HMT, and every reason to live a good life. You have a future ahead of you. One day, one step at a time. You will be able to do this,to get through it, because you have to. Know, too that homeless are resourceful and survivors. There is much help for them, but, [I]they have to want it. [/I] There is a great article on the top of the PE forum page on detachment, it is very helpful. [I][/I] Others will come along and share with you. Please continue to post, it is very helpful. If you add a bit to your signature, that will help folks understand your situation. You are not alone HMT, and you are not helpless. There are many here in your situation. We understand, and we help one another. Peace be with you. (((HUGS))) leafy [/QUOTE]
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My 25 y/o got kicked out of rehab today. ..
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