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My 25 year old daughter wants space
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 736690" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>HI Steph...So I have been thinking about your situation. I have 2 children but on this site I usually talk about my son since he is my difficult child. My daughter who is 23 is my easy child, we have always been close and get along well. So what I want to say is that even with my very easy daughter there are times when she wants space. There are times she distances herself from me. I have also begun to understand that basically she wants my approval (What daughter doesnt want that from her mom) and so she is oversensitive to anything I say that sounds at all critical. There have been times when she has felt I am disapproving or will disaprove when that is absolutely untrue. So what I have learned is to be more careful in my comments to her, listent to her, be honest, but be aware of her sensitivity to things I say. I also try to follow her lead, so when she distances herself that I try to respect that. Usually something is going on that she is not ready to talk about and if I wait she will eventually open up.</p><p></p><p>So yes back off a bit I think your daughter will come around. As far as the student loan.... She is probably worried about it, upset about it, doesnt know what to do about it and so is trying to just avoid it hoping it will go away. Obviously it won’t. I would not approach her about it in front of anyone else. I might write her a letter telling her your own concerns about it and asking her to talk about it with you so that you can figure out how to solve the situation. My guess is doesnt know what to do and so needs help in brainstorming figuring it out. Is this a place your hsuband could help her. I am not suggesting you pay it off, but help her figure how to pay it off.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 736690, member: 15801"] HI Steph...So I have been thinking about your situation. I have 2 children but on this site I usually talk about my son since he is my difficult child. My daughter who is 23 is my easy child, we have always been close and get along well. So what I want to say is that even with my very easy daughter there are times when she wants space. There are times she distances herself from me. I have also begun to understand that basically she wants my approval (What daughter doesnt want that from her mom) and so she is oversensitive to anything I say that sounds at all critical. There have been times when she has felt I am disapproving or will disaprove when that is absolutely untrue. So what I have learned is to be more careful in my comments to her, listent to her, be honest, but be aware of her sensitivity to things I say. I also try to follow her lead, so when she distances herself that I try to respect that. Usually something is going on that she is not ready to talk about and if I wait she will eventually open up. So yes back off a bit I think your daughter will come around. As far as the student loan.... She is probably worried about it, upset about it, doesnt know what to do about it and so is trying to just avoid it hoping it will go away. Obviously it won’t. I would not approach her about it in front of anyone else. I might write her a letter telling her your own concerns about it and asking her to talk about it with you so that you can figure out how to solve the situation. My guess is doesnt know what to do and so needs help in brainstorming figuring it out. Is this a place your hsuband could help her. I am not suggesting you pay it off, but help her figure how to pay it off. TL [/QUOTE]
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My 25 year old daughter wants space
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