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My 25 year old daughter wants space
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 736909" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Does she only "reach out" back when you apologize, say you were wrong or grovel? When you are desperate?</p><p></p><p>Can she ever say "I am sorry. I was wrong" first?</p><p></p><p>Does she admit being wrong at all or is it all about YOU having to make amends, even when she is in the wrong?</p><p></p><p>It is next to impssible to have a satisfying relationship with somebody who acts as if you are always in the wrong and never admits wrongdoing. Trust me, this is first hand information. I have had this with relatives i dearly wanted to love me. But they eere so sure they were wronged by me and that there was no reason for my stances that it did not, could not ever happen. They had much to answer for. Me too. I did. I blamed myself to my mother for things i never did, that she just said i did. I wrote loving, demeaning to myself letters to her. Even that was not enough.</p><p></p><p>Her heartbwas not moved. My sister did some awful things to my brother, my sweet grandma and to me and never ever admitted any of it...not that I heard anyway. I decided it was time to go. </p><p></p><p>Some people do this silence game to get out of responsibility and if they hurt us enough they know we will do anything, say anything, go along with anything to be in their lives.They do not understand or maybe just refuse to accept accountability. They demand a free pass. Maybe they truly believe that they did nothing wrong.</p><p></p><p>Is this a relationship? I had to cut somebody out for this. Sometimes we need to admit that we dont have fulfilling relationships with people we love to the moon and back. Sometimes we cant. Sometimes we just have to take what we can get or end it. Ending a relationship with a child rarely happens but we can accept that the relationship</p><p> will not be the relationship we dreamed about.</p><p></p><p>It sounds as if your daughter wants to be in total control of your relationship. This only works well if it doesnt bother you to do this.</p><p></p><p>You do whatever your heart tells you to do and expect very little. Your daughters past is close to how she will behave now and in the future. Dont expect miracles and you wont be disappointed. Do not grovel. She will not respect you if you never stand strong. Nothing changes if nothing changes.</p><p></p><p>Light and love!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 736909, member: 1550"] Does she only "reach out" back when you apologize, say you were wrong or grovel? When you are desperate? Can she ever say "I am sorry. I was wrong" first? Does she admit being wrong at all or is it all about YOU having to make amends, even when she is in the wrong? It is next to impssible to have a satisfying relationship with somebody who acts as if you are always in the wrong and never admits wrongdoing. Trust me, this is first hand information. I have had this with relatives i dearly wanted to love me. But they eere so sure they were wronged by me and that there was no reason for my stances that it did not, could not ever happen. They had much to answer for. Me too. I did. I blamed myself to my mother for things i never did, that she just said i did. I wrote loving, demeaning to myself letters to her. Even that was not enough. Her heartbwas not moved. My sister did some awful things to my brother, my sweet grandma and to me and never ever admitted any of it...not that I heard anyway. I decided it was time to go. Some people do this silence game to get out of responsibility and if they hurt us enough they know we will do anything, say anything, go along with anything to be in their lives.They do not understand or maybe just refuse to accept accountability. They demand a free pass. Maybe they truly believe that they did nothing wrong. Is this a relationship? I had to cut somebody out for this. Sometimes we need to admit that we dont have fulfilling relationships with people we love to the moon and back. Sometimes we cant. Sometimes we just have to take what we can get or end it. Ending a relationship with a child rarely happens but we can accept that the relationship will not be the relationship we dreamed about. It sounds as if your daughter wants to be in total control of your relationship. This only works well if it doesnt bother you to do this. You do whatever your heart tells you to do and expect very little. Your daughters past is close to how she will behave now and in the future. Dont expect miracles and you wont be disappointed. Do not grovel. She will not respect you if you never stand strong. Nothing changes if nothing changes. Light and love! [/QUOTE]
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My 25 year old daughter wants space
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