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My 25 year old daughter wants space
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 736931" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>She is 25. How parental are you supposed to feel? She is a woman, not a child in need of parenting, like she did when she was ten.</p><p></p><p>Big deal if you pushed her too hard. How did you push her too hard? Is it even true? Sounds like her excuse to get you to keep taking care of her.</p><p></p><p>Maybe you can say something like this to her in a confident way.</p><p></p><p>"Daughter, I am sorry you felt i pushed you in the past. That does not excuse your student.loan or not taking responsibility for your car insurance and cell phone right now."</p><p></p><p>Her: what kind of horrible mother are you?</p><p></p><p>You: i really dont think we should talk more until you are calm. I am just letting you know that our expectations have changed.</p><p></p><p>Her: You pushed me too hard and now you arent going to pay these bills??? You are awful! I will never speak to you again!</p><p></p><p>You: i am human and made mistakes pushing you and I wont make more mistakes by paying your bills when you owe us money and are old enough to pay your own bills."</p><p></p><p>Her: i will never speak to you again! (This is likely baloney)</p><p></p><p>You: i cant control that. I love you and hope its not true. Anyhow, I just wanted to let you know what is changing.</p><p></p><p>Her: cussing/name calling/being mean/crying/any/all</p><p></p><p>You: i have to go. When you feel calmer we can talk (leave)</p><p></p><p>You can not allow her or anyone else to boss you around and make you feel like a bad person. So what if you feel you made a mistake? If indeed it was a mistake. Most of us pysh our grown kids to adult. That is normal and not horrible. Your daughter is a woman now and she is making mistakes too, if you feel you did. Who doesnt make mistakes???</p><p></p><p>in my opinion you should stop feeling guilty and step up. Stand strong. You can do it. You need to help your daughter grow up and that may make her angry. Oh well. It is worse to be her doormat while she makes no progress as an adult. She MUST grow up and stop depending on you!</p><p></p><p>Light and love!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 736931, member: 1550"] She is 25. How parental are you supposed to feel? She is a woman, not a child in need of parenting, like she did when she was ten. Big deal if you pushed her too hard. How did you push her too hard? Is it even true? Sounds like her excuse to get you to keep taking care of her. Maybe you can say something like this to her in a confident way. "Daughter, I am sorry you felt i pushed you in the past. That does not excuse your student.loan or not taking responsibility for your car insurance and cell phone right now." Her: what kind of horrible mother are you? You: i really dont think we should talk more until you are calm. I am just letting you know that our expectations have changed. Her: You pushed me too hard and now you arent going to pay these bills??? You are awful! I will never speak to you again! You: i am human and made mistakes pushing you and I wont make more mistakes by paying your bills when you owe us money and are old enough to pay your own bills." Her: i will never speak to you again! (This is likely baloney) You: i cant control that. I love you and hope its not true. Anyhow, I just wanted to let you know what is changing. Her: cussing/name calling/being mean/crying/any/all You: i have to go. When you feel calmer we can talk (leave) You can not allow her or anyone else to boss you around and make you feel like a bad person. So what if you feel you made a mistake? If indeed it was a mistake. Most of us pysh our grown kids to adult. That is normal and not horrible. Your daughter is a woman now and she is making mistakes too, if you feel you did. Who doesnt make mistakes??? in my opinion you should stop feeling guilty and step up. Stand strong. You can do it. You need to help your daughter grow up and that may make her angry. Oh well. It is worse to be her doormat while she makes no progress as an adult. She MUST grow up and stop depending on you! Light and love! [/QUOTE]
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My 25 year old daughter wants space
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