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My 4 year old is making himself throw up at daycare
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<blockquote data-quote="apesfordana" data-source="post: 512343" data-attributes="member: 13077"><p>The woman buddy was referring to was me. My son was putting his hands down his throat to gag. I see the discussion link below if you want to take a look. </p><p></p><p>We went rounds with my son - who, yes is a picky eater, but never displayed any such actions at home or anywhere but school. After trying lots and lots of things, making his lunch worked for a while. Until the day came that he threw up anyway even though he had his lunch. It was a day where the school was having a party - lots of parents around for a breakfast. He thought they were going to make him eat the breakfast & he was update we couldn't be there. </p><p></p><p>He got caught each time he tried & each time it was too late. The school finally asked us to find another arrangement for him.</p><p></p><p>Boy has that new arrangement been the best thing we've ever done for our boy. And now that the situation is over, he is very vocal about what the problems were. Yes, it was the food the school served. I make his lunch every day now. It's likely healthier than what the school serves anyway. But moreover, he just wasn't in sync with the environment there. The learning style was too much for him - it was a daycare run by a church, so they worked real hard to get the kids beyond the kindergarten curriculum standards... my son simply wasn't ready for that. He also really really hated his teacher. She talked down to him. She rushed him when we was eating, coloring, cleaning... anything. </p><p></p><p>My son LOVES his new school. The new school is the early eduction center for the school district we live in. Full access to any kind of therapy we would need - which to my suprise his teachers say he isn't even close to needing. He keeps saying that he doesn't want to turn 5 cause he'll have to go to a new school. We didn't tell his new teacher a single detail about the old situation. We didn't want to set our boy up for failure by making the teachers too careful. If the cause was something else, I wanted to see if it came up on its own. NOPE. </p><p></p><p>So I think in part, my son grew out of it. He matured enough to finally start hearing that what he was doing was wrong. He still talks all the time about not putting his fingers in his mouth. Calm & rational (for a 4 year old) worked I think. Repitition, support and a chance for him to feel safe with us helped. The change of environment played a bigger part. Maybe because it proved that we were listing to our son. Maybe because it just needed to happen - certainly because we had no other choice! lol</p><p></p><p>So that's my story. So far it seems that there was nothing wrong with my son except that he found an extreme & very effective way to act out. And we listened. We changed what we decided we needed to change. My fear of course is that it could resurface in the fall with kindergarden. But our hopes are that a little more time will have helped him figure out how to deal with situations better.</p><p></p><p>Your story may not be the same. My only advice is to give your son a chance to talk about it. The situation got worse any time we put our son in time out or grounded him. It got better when we started to listen & let him make decisions - what to bring for lunch. Four is quite the age. They can't articulate, but they certainly can feel very very strong emotions. My son never 'knew' why either. So over time, we talked about his feelings in general & not just the throwing up. </p><p></p><p>I've got to run - but I do check this site frequently. Please feel free to share more or ask any questions. It's hard not to go straight to extreme answers for what is happening. It really may be much more simple.</p><p></p><p>Good luck!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="apesfordana, post: 512343, member: 13077"] The woman buddy was referring to was me. My son was putting his hands down his throat to gag. I see the discussion link below if you want to take a look. We went rounds with my son - who, yes is a picky eater, but never displayed any such actions at home or anywhere but school. After trying lots and lots of things, making his lunch worked for a while. Until the day came that he threw up anyway even though he had his lunch. It was a day where the school was having a party - lots of parents around for a breakfast. He thought they were going to make him eat the breakfast & he was update we couldn't be there. He got caught each time he tried & each time it was too late. The school finally asked us to find another arrangement for him. Boy has that new arrangement been the best thing we've ever done for our boy. And now that the situation is over, he is very vocal about what the problems were. Yes, it was the food the school served. I make his lunch every day now. It's likely healthier than what the school serves anyway. But moreover, he just wasn't in sync with the environment there. The learning style was too much for him - it was a daycare run by a church, so they worked real hard to get the kids beyond the kindergarten curriculum standards... my son simply wasn't ready for that. He also really really hated his teacher. She talked down to him. She rushed him when we was eating, coloring, cleaning... anything. My son LOVES his new school. The new school is the early eduction center for the school district we live in. Full access to any kind of therapy we would need - which to my suprise his teachers say he isn't even close to needing. He keeps saying that he doesn't want to turn 5 cause he'll have to go to a new school. We didn't tell his new teacher a single detail about the old situation. We didn't want to set our boy up for failure by making the teachers too careful. If the cause was something else, I wanted to see if it came up on its own. NOPE. So I think in part, my son grew out of it. He matured enough to finally start hearing that what he was doing was wrong. He still talks all the time about not putting his fingers in his mouth. Calm & rational (for a 4 year old) worked I think. Repitition, support and a chance for him to feel safe with us helped. The change of environment played a bigger part. Maybe because it proved that we were listing to our son. Maybe because it just needed to happen - certainly because we had no other choice! lol So that's my story. So far it seems that there was nothing wrong with my son except that he found an extreme & very effective way to act out. And we listened. We changed what we decided we needed to change. My fear of course is that it could resurface in the fall with kindergarden. But our hopes are that a little more time will have helped him figure out how to deal with situations better. Your story may not be the same. My only advice is to give your son a chance to talk about it. The situation got worse any time we put our son in time out or grounded him. It got better when we started to listen & let him make decisions - what to bring for lunch. Four is quite the age. They can't articulate, but they certainly can feel very very strong emotions. My son never 'knew' why either. So over time, we talked about his feelings in general & not just the throwing up. I've got to run - but I do check this site frequently. Please feel free to share more or ask any questions. It's hard not to go straight to extreme answers for what is happening. It really may be much more simple. Good luck! [/QUOTE]
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