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My 41 year old is a homeless addict
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 732523" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi Sad Mother and welcome to you. I really do understand your heartache. I share a part of it; I have a 29 year old son. Honestly. I am afraid to die. I realize how ludicrous that sounds, but I fear for my son and for myself too. That said, I will share a few of my thoughts.</p><p></p><p>One. Feelings are not facts. Or they do not have to be. I am in agony right now. My son is homeless because I threw him out. He does everything he can to make me suffer, that he should not. It sounds like your son does this too. Remember the children's game, hot potato? We can run like crazy from that potato.</p><p></p><p>Of course they are our children. Our makeup is to suffer for them. But this forum is full of mothers who refuse to jump on the flaming pyre. First. It does not help. Second. Why? You have value independent of your child's story. So do I.</p><p></p><p>Which brings me to another point. They have their own stories to write. Your son's thus far has had highs and lows. He was blessed with a loving family. With resources and talents. He has had success. Sustained success. But he has demons too. So do millions of others. Every day brings the opportunity to start a new chapter. There are one year free faith based programs. Free housing. Free food. Support. Renewal. There is ongoing support. Subsidized housing. Community. Every single morning he has the chance to wake up and dedicate himself to recovery. It is hard. But so is life.</p><p></p><p>Finally. I know prison. I know male prisoners well. I worked in prisons over a 25 year period. Many, many felons change. Some are very, very stubborn. Slow learners. But even these guys change.</p><p></p><p>Prepare yourself. He may go back. But this may not be such a bad thing. Right now he is externalizing all agency and responsibility for his life onto others.</p><p></p><p>He is the victim. The martyr. Everybody deserves to be punished for failing him. He knows he has failed himself. He is behaving like a sick, mad dog. Biting who comes close. Stay away.</p><p></p><p>But there is no reason what so ever that he cannot turn this around. Yes. The worst could happen. For any one of us. But he could turn this around. But he will do it himself, for himself.</p><p></p><p>The best thing you can do is take care of yourself. You can love him through prayer. Even if you are a non believer, prayer works. We connect to our love and our hope. And we can let it be. Put down for a time burdens that ought not be ours to bear.</p><p></p><p>Take care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 732523, member: 18958"] Hi Sad Mother and welcome to you. I really do understand your heartache. I share a part of it; I have a 29 year old son. Honestly. I am afraid to die. I realize how ludicrous that sounds, but I fear for my son and for myself too. That said, I will share a few of my thoughts. One. Feelings are not facts. Or they do not have to be. I am in agony right now. My son is homeless because I threw him out. He does everything he can to make me suffer, that he should not. It sounds like your son does this too. Remember the children's game, hot potato? We can run like crazy from that potato. Of course they are our children. Our makeup is to suffer for them. But this forum is full of mothers who refuse to jump on the flaming pyre. First. It does not help. Second. Why? You have value independent of your child's story. So do I. Which brings me to another point. They have their own stories to write. Your son's thus far has had highs and lows. He was blessed with a loving family. With resources and talents. He has had success. Sustained success. But he has demons too. So do millions of others. Every day brings the opportunity to start a new chapter. There are one year free faith based programs. Free housing. Free food. Support. Renewal. There is ongoing support. Subsidized housing. Community. Every single morning he has the chance to wake up and dedicate himself to recovery. It is hard. But so is life. Finally. I know prison. I know male prisoners well. I worked in prisons over a 25 year period. Many, many felons change. Some are very, very stubborn. Slow learners. But even these guys change. Prepare yourself. He may go back. But this may not be such a bad thing. Right now he is externalizing all agency and responsibility for his life onto others. He is the victim. The martyr. Everybody deserves to be punished for failing him. He knows he has failed himself. He is behaving like a sick, mad dog. Biting who comes close. Stay away. But there is no reason what so ever that he cannot turn this around. Yes. The worst could happen. For any one of us. But he could turn this around. But he will do it himself, for himself. The best thing you can do is take care of yourself. You can love him through prayer. Even if you are a non believer, prayer works. We connect to our love and our hope. And we can let it be. Put down for a time burdens that ought not be ours to bear. Take care. [/QUOTE]
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My 41 year old is a homeless addict
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