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My 5 year old adopted son seems very angry!. Please help!
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 518023" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Hi there! Wecome. I think it is great you were able to give this little guy a great home. Sounds like he had a shaky start. I would also suggest a neuropsychologist evaluation and if there is any way to find out which medications she was taking to bring that along. A neuropsychologist over other types of diagnosticians (in my humble opinion) at this point because he has neuro risk factors and a typical psychiatric or psychiatrist may only look at the behavior and give him a diagnosis related only to that which is often not helpful. (you can give him a label of something related to being explosive or aggressive or defiant or whatever yourself right? But the neuropsychologist can help look at behavior and how it is related to brain development and other social factors in his history a little more broadly, again in my humble opinion)</p><p></p><p>I am a single adoptive mom to a boy from foster care. He has many behavioral issues and has lots of neurological damage your son does not have. But he does have the same adoption feelings as any child does and it helped me to talk to adoption professionals. In his case, he had developmentally appropriate (for his age) questions as your son does, but he did not have the emotional level to deal with it. Without being able to use words even....they may not even realize it...kids can develop all kinds of fears like if they can be taken once, why not again? Someone told a child in a group I was at, wow you have your forever home and he said...NOTHING is forever. Many kids "collect" things, mine does pamphlets and papers. It kind of sounds like he actually has a plan (maybe???) and he just gets very focused on it. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>How does he play with other kids? He sounds like he is really bright and full of potential. You say he is a leader, can he follow? At his age, it is not typical to question authority to too much of a degree. There are some kids who dont really understand the social rules of how we talk to peers versus familiar adults versus people in authority etc. If he struggles with that it may not be a personality trait as much as a skill deficit and it can be tricky to sort that out. If it is a personality thing and he does well most of the time then I would agree that shaping it to make it a positive aspect of his life. </p><p></p><p>When did he start talking? Is he advanced in reading or numbers? It is great he is starting sports it will help you see how he does with playing by rules (which all kids have some issues with at his age, lol)...but when we have kids with behaviors it is helpful to notice things like that....how he works with his team mates and how they do learning the strategy of the game (Is he a kid who gets the ball and wont give it to anyone else?? etc. just making stuff up for examples).</p><p></p><p>The examples you gave about the behaviors you mentioned all have a common theme (on the surface here of course) of his having an idea set in his mind and being really locked in. How did he respond when you took the knives back?</p><p></p><p>My son is 15 and things still get by me at times, but for the most part, I keep all sharps locked up. Not those stupid plastic drawer things that kids can break into, and since I rent I can't put locks into the outside wood but there are magnetic locked child protection locks that you can get anywhere...they are on the inside of drawers and you swipe a magnet across the outside of the door/drawer and it clicks it open. It is a PITA to have to get the magnet every time I want a knife etc. but those of us with kids with any kind of behavior challenge, once we are aware we need to keep them safe from themselves until (if) the problem can be solved. Small price to pay.</p><p></p><p>I would say if you can arrange for the neuropsychology evaluation that would be great and since there is an issue with following directions it would be worth it to get a really good speech language pathology evaluation by someone who knows about auditory processing including language processing. You want someone who really gets it so using a clinic that works with kids with brain injuries or autism or something like that (kids who have diagnosis that include the risk of those issues, not saying your kid has those things) would be best. A new grad (again, just MHO because I am a Speech Language Pathologist (SLP)) may not have the experience for such a subtle and specialized kind of issue. If there are social communication issues as well, (as I said...tone of voice or choice of words with different types of people) that should be mentioned too.</p><p></p><p>And for the pee issue, you might want to get an Occupational Therapist (OT) (occupational therapy) evaluation with someone who understands sensory integration disorder very well. He may be really into how things look, feel etc. It may just be an obsessive thing (like with the knives) too. But by checking each of these areas you can rule things out for now (things always change and evolve and may not fully show up at this young age but still good to check it out)</p><p></p><p>If you do the sl and Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation now (usually easier to get those appointments) then you can bring the results to the neuropsychologist evaluation and that person can help you put things together even more completely. </p><p></p><p>The books that were recommended are really helpful too. The explosive child by ross greene and what your explosive child is trying to tell you by doug riley. You can search here for more information on those books and what people think of them.....</p><p></p><p>My best to you, hope you stick around and get to know all of us, we know the challenge of living with these wonderful kids who have some kind of intense behaviors! See ya around!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 518023, member: 12886"] Hi there! Wecome. I think it is great you were able to give this little guy a great home. Sounds like he had a shaky start. I would also suggest a neuropsychologist evaluation and if there is any way to find out which medications she was taking to bring that along. A neuropsychologist over other types of diagnosticians (in my humble opinion) at this point because he has neuro risk factors and a typical psychiatric or psychiatrist may only look at the behavior and give him a diagnosis related only to that which is often not helpful. (you can give him a label of something related to being explosive or aggressive or defiant or whatever yourself right? But the neuropsychologist can help look at behavior and how it is related to brain development and other social factors in his history a little more broadly, again in my humble opinion) I am a single adoptive mom to a boy from foster care. He has many behavioral issues and has lots of neurological damage your son does not have. But he does have the same adoption feelings as any child does and it helped me to talk to adoption professionals. In his case, he had developmentally appropriate (for his age) questions as your son does, but he did not have the emotional level to deal with it. Without being able to use words even....they may not even realize it...kids can develop all kinds of fears like if they can be taken once, why not again? Someone told a child in a group I was at, wow you have your forever home and he said...NOTHING is forever. Many kids "collect" things, mine does pamphlets and papers. It kind of sounds like he actually has a plan (maybe???) and he just gets very focused on it. How does he play with other kids? He sounds like he is really bright and full of potential. You say he is a leader, can he follow? At his age, it is not typical to question authority to too much of a degree. There are some kids who dont really understand the social rules of how we talk to peers versus familiar adults versus people in authority etc. If he struggles with that it may not be a personality trait as much as a skill deficit and it can be tricky to sort that out. If it is a personality thing and he does well most of the time then I would agree that shaping it to make it a positive aspect of his life. When did he start talking? Is he advanced in reading or numbers? It is great he is starting sports it will help you see how he does with playing by rules (which all kids have some issues with at his age, lol)...but when we have kids with behaviors it is helpful to notice things like that....how he works with his team mates and how they do learning the strategy of the game (Is he a kid who gets the ball and wont give it to anyone else?? etc. just making stuff up for examples). The examples you gave about the behaviors you mentioned all have a common theme (on the surface here of course) of his having an idea set in his mind and being really locked in. How did he respond when you took the knives back? My son is 15 and things still get by me at times, but for the most part, I keep all sharps locked up. Not those stupid plastic drawer things that kids can break into, and since I rent I can't put locks into the outside wood but there are magnetic locked child protection locks that you can get anywhere...they are on the inside of drawers and you swipe a magnet across the outside of the door/drawer and it clicks it open. It is a PITA to have to get the magnet every time I want a knife etc. but those of us with kids with any kind of behavior challenge, once we are aware we need to keep them safe from themselves until (if) the problem can be solved. Small price to pay. I would say if you can arrange for the neuropsychology evaluation that would be great and since there is an issue with following directions it would be worth it to get a really good speech language pathology evaluation by someone who knows about auditory processing including language processing. You want someone who really gets it so using a clinic that works with kids with brain injuries or autism or something like that (kids who have diagnosis that include the risk of those issues, not saying your kid has those things) would be best. A new grad (again, just MHO because I am a Speech Language Pathologist (SLP)) may not have the experience for such a subtle and specialized kind of issue. If there are social communication issues as well, (as I said...tone of voice or choice of words with different types of people) that should be mentioned too. And for the pee issue, you might want to get an Occupational Therapist (OT) (occupational therapy) evaluation with someone who understands sensory integration disorder very well. He may be really into how things look, feel etc. It may just be an obsessive thing (like with the knives) too. But by checking each of these areas you can rule things out for now (things always change and evolve and may not fully show up at this young age but still good to check it out) If you do the sl and Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation now (usually easier to get those appointments) then you can bring the results to the neuropsychologist evaluation and that person can help you put things together even more completely. The books that were recommended are really helpful too. The explosive child by ross greene and what your explosive child is trying to tell you by doug riley. You can search here for more information on those books and what people think of them..... My best to you, hope you stick around and get to know all of us, we know the challenge of living with these wonderful kids who have some kind of intense behaviors! See ya around! [/QUOTE]
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My 5 year old adopted son seems very angry!. Please help!
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