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My 5 year old adopted son seems very angry!. Please help!
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<blockquote data-quote="Celticdawn" data-source="post: 518449" data-attributes="member: 14243"><p>Thank you so much for your responses. I will definitely be checking out the two books recommended. I think that having a neuro evaluation is probably a really good idea. It's difficult for me because I really don't want him to struggle because of what his birth mother did, but it's not going to help him any if my head is burried in the sand. </p><p></p><p>I want to try to answer some of the questions that came up. I think that Buddy was dead on with some of the patterns that my son has developed that weren't that obvious to me until you pointed them out. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Anyway, at this point my son believes that we can fix anything. When we asked him what would happen if he accidently cut himself with the knives or scissors, he said, "you will grab me and pull me out of the way." He recently refused to come off ice on a lake when his grandmother asked him to (his behavior is definitely the worst with her. The lake was very shallow, but was still scary). I asked him what he thought would happen if the ice broke and he fell into the lake. He said, "Grammy will fish me out." </p><p></p><p>He seems to play decently with other children. His teachers have mentioned that at first he was much more interested in the adult feedback, and he didn't really know how to interact with the kids. My partner stayed at home, so he really had no contact with children until preschool began. The teachers also stated that he is extremely well behaved, curious about everything, athletically inclined, and extremely distracted by other children. Since then, he's become more used to the other kids and has actually been able to make a couple of friends. All the kids seem to like him. His behavior problems do not exhibit themselves at school, other than the scissors incident. He was able to talk with his teachers about that, apologize, and he was completely upset about the entire thing. I'm not sure if it will happen again, but he didn't like having to apologize to them. The morning before he did it, he was very concerned about whether or not they would still like him. He isn't great at vocalizing his feelings, but he did ask me if I was "happy at him" and if the teachers would still be happy at him. We bought the game, Moody MOnsters, in hopes to help him name is emotions. So far he likes the game. Anyway, his authority issues only seem to show up with myself, my partner, and my partner's parents. He behaves better with my mom and with his teachers.</p><p></p><p>As far as his development: He walked and talked very early. He was walking at 9 months.. Running at 10. He is excellent with numbers and with puzzles. He can build puzzles that take me twice as long to build. He isn't reading yet, though, and he isn't showing any signs of even wanting to read. He does enjoy being read to.</p><p></p><p>He also seems to have some difficulty processing information. If we tell him to do something, sometimes it takes him a few seconds to even hear what we said (or to appear to hear it).. Now, sometimes he's very tuned in to us and responds to our requests or otehr conversation right away. Other times, he's very "disconnected" from us and it takes a lot longer to get him to tune in. I'm not sure if this is a processing issue or if it's just normal?</p><p></p><p>Again, I really appreciate everyone's response. I hope to spend some time familiarizing myself with the site and look forward to getting to now you all!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Celticdawn, post: 518449, member: 14243"] Thank you so much for your responses. I will definitely be checking out the two books recommended. I think that having a neuro evaluation is probably a really good idea. It's difficult for me because I really don't want him to struggle because of what his birth mother did, but it's not going to help him any if my head is burried in the sand. I want to try to answer some of the questions that came up. I think that Buddy was dead on with some of the patterns that my son has developed that weren't that obvious to me until you pointed them out. :) Anyway, at this point my son believes that we can fix anything. When we asked him what would happen if he accidently cut himself with the knives or scissors, he said, "you will grab me and pull me out of the way." He recently refused to come off ice on a lake when his grandmother asked him to (his behavior is definitely the worst with her. The lake was very shallow, but was still scary). I asked him what he thought would happen if the ice broke and he fell into the lake. He said, "Grammy will fish me out." He seems to play decently with other children. His teachers have mentioned that at first he was much more interested in the adult feedback, and he didn't really know how to interact with the kids. My partner stayed at home, so he really had no contact with children until preschool began. The teachers also stated that he is extremely well behaved, curious about everything, athletically inclined, and extremely distracted by other children. Since then, he's become more used to the other kids and has actually been able to make a couple of friends. All the kids seem to like him. His behavior problems do not exhibit themselves at school, other than the scissors incident. He was able to talk with his teachers about that, apologize, and he was completely upset about the entire thing. I'm not sure if it will happen again, but he didn't like having to apologize to them. The morning before he did it, he was very concerned about whether or not they would still like him. He isn't great at vocalizing his feelings, but he did ask me if I was "happy at him" and if the teachers would still be happy at him. We bought the game, Moody MOnsters, in hopes to help him name is emotions. So far he likes the game. Anyway, his authority issues only seem to show up with myself, my partner, and my partner's parents. He behaves better with my mom and with his teachers. As far as his development: He walked and talked very early. He was walking at 9 months.. Running at 10. He is excellent with numbers and with puzzles. He can build puzzles that take me twice as long to build. He isn't reading yet, though, and he isn't showing any signs of even wanting to read. He does enjoy being read to. He also seems to have some difficulty processing information. If we tell him to do something, sometimes it takes him a few seconds to even hear what we said (or to appear to hear it).. Now, sometimes he's very tuned in to us and responds to our requests or otehr conversation right away. Other times, he's very "disconnected" from us and it takes a lot longer to get him to tune in. I'm not sure if this is a processing issue or if it's just normal? Again, I really appreciate everyone's response. I hope to spend some time familiarizing myself with the site and look forward to getting to now you all! [/QUOTE]
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My 5 year old adopted son seems very angry!. Please help!
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