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General Parenting
My 6 year old is bullying.
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<blockquote data-quote="DaisyFace" data-source="post: 391473" data-attributes="member: 6546"><p>Hello!</p><p> </p><p>As the parent of a child who does a lot of bullying--it's hard for me to point to "Brian" as the instigator of all the problems.</p><p> </p><p>My daughter's bullying stems from her need to control everything. When she was in kindergarten, she too, seemed to make friends easily and had a child that she considered a "best friend". I later discovered that difficult child's version of "friendship" was the problem. When she made a friend, she stifled that person--needing to be the center of their attention at all times--and preventing that person from playing with anyone else. Eventually the "friend" would get angry at difficult child and seek to create some distance. When subtle hints like "I want to play with someone else" didn't work...the other child would usually resort to physically pushing difficult child away...</p><p> </p><p>Which difficult child interpreted as the other child "being mean".</p><p> </p><p>The difficult child would seek to make a new friend--and repeat the same kinds of behaviors...and create the same result. Only this time, when the friend tried to push her away--difficult child would push back and "punish" the other child for "being mean". (And we would get similar apologies from difficult child as you describe from your son.... Like "I'm very sorry I pushed you. You should know not to call me names.")</p><p> </p><p>We tried a lot of role playing with difficult child and the school counselor was great about working with difficult child on making friends and being a friend.</p><p> </p><p>Check with your school. Many have programs that help kids with socialiation skills. They may have "Lunch Groups" to help kids make friends. They can also sit down with your son and Brian and see if they can help the two of them get along better.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DaisyFace, post: 391473, member: 6546"] Hello! As the parent of a child who does a lot of bullying--it's hard for me to point to "Brian" as the instigator of all the problems. My daughter's bullying stems from her need to control everything. When she was in kindergarten, she too, seemed to make friends easily and had a child that she considered a "best friend". I later discovered that difficult child's version of "friendship" was the problem. When she made a friend, she stifled that person--needing to be the center of their attention at all times--and preventing that person from playing with anyone else. Eventually the "friend" would get angry at difficult child and seek to create some distance. When subtle hints like "I want to play with someone else" didn't work...the other child would usually resort to physically pushing difficult child away... Which difficult child interpreted as the other child "being mean". The difficult child would seek to make a new friend--and repeat the same kinds of behaviors...and create the same result. Only this time, when the friend tried to push her away--difficult child would push back and "punish" the other child for "being mean". (And we would get similar apologies from difficult child as you describe from your son.... Like "I'm very sorry I pushed you. You should know not to call me names.") We tried a lot of role playing with difficult child and the school counselor was great about working with difficult child on making friends and being a friend. Check with your school. Many have programs that help kids with socialiation skills. They may have "Lunch Groups" to help kids make friends. They can also sit down with your son and Brian and see if they can help the two of them get along better. [/QUOTE]
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My 6 year old is bullying.
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