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My 8 year old is DIFFICULT and I am struggling and need support...
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<blockquote data-quote="Firefly2" data-source="post: 602599" data-attributes="member: 16651"><p>Ok-internet/router working for now! Yay! No developmental delays, no family "issues" like violence or divorce or substance abuse or anything like that....there is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and anxiety on dad's side (dad himself seems to have depression but doesn't really want to acknowledge it. He is a great father/husband though!) My son was born emergency c-section with cord around neck and was hospitalized for jaundice for 3 or 4 days. He didn't seem to have any lasting effects due to that. </p><p> I have stayed home with my kids, except when he was 3 and 4 when I taught preschool. He came with me some days-NOT GOOD. He wanted my attention, generally was not happy and was irritable, angry, and clingy and the parents complained about his behavior. I quit after 2 years. Also-he potty trained a little late-after 3. He would poop in his pants until he was almost 4, and it mostly happened at preschool. Maybe he was trying 2 get my attention-not exactly sure because he wouldn't tell me why he did it. He doesn't go to the bathroom in strange places now, but when he was 4, 5, and 6 he chose to pee in the litter box, garbage can sometimes, and once in his friend's bedroom. He did it because he said peeing in the toilet was boring-lol. I do remember as a baby/toddler our lives revolved around his sleep/food schedule-seriously. If he didn't get his nap or it was shortened-his behavior was terrible. Same for eating. We fed him before we went out to dinner, because if he was even slightly hungry and we had to wait for food, he would have a meltdown and we would have to leave the restaurant. This is probably typical kid stuff. To this day we have to watch what and when he eats, and while his friends stay outside playing til the sun goes down, he has to be in bed no later than 8:30 or we will have major issues the next day because he will not sleep in. </p><p>He doesn't really have any strange quirks....he is just generally a sweet, sensitive, loving kid OR mean, crabby, stubborn and defiant. Socially (before medications) he was starting to alienate his friends and they didn't come over because he was so mean and nasty to them. He was so crabby they stayed away! he is also a my way or the highway kind of kid, so that causes trouble. As far as violence-he never preplans to hurt anyone. He hits/kicks/grabs when his 2 year old brother hits him or bothers him, or if the dogs are in his way or bother him. He had extreme separation anxiety when younger, but still has some of it. He cried and threw up once when a babysitter came over. She had to leave and we stayed home. I have many examples of him getting worried, worked up and getting sick. He won't go to vacation bible school unless I am there with him (although in the past he would go if I stayed the first 20 mins or so to get him used to it). He got invited to the movies with his friend the other day, and would not go. He said he only goes to the movies with his family. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> He is very sensitive to touch-he can cry over a hangnail. The defiance is very tiring-he pretty much says no or refuses to do anything I say-and I don't bark out orders all day long either! He is very shy, and won't look people in the eye (he does to us and friends/family though). He often comes across as rude to strangers because he will turn away and ignore them, or look at me and ask if we can go home.</p><p>So much happens every day with him, that I don't know where to start. Do I focus on one thing, or all of it? I really try to enjoy the good times (and if I am exhausted, I put a smile on my face anyway), but it is so hard because I am so stressed out! On my end: I am not consistent with discipline, and I am hard on myself. I count to 3 when he doesn't listen, and he almost always listens before 3, but I can count 25 times before lunch some days! That isn't right. I realize I need to change some things, I just don't know where to begin. I send him to his room for hitting and being disrespectful, but it isn't working. Of all the things I have tried, the only thing that had any impact (and it was small), was when I took away his favorite toys for a month. If he hit his brother, his DSi was gone for a month. If he didn't listen, I took away his scooter for a month. But, in the end, it just made him madder. His 2 year old brother is showing anger/aggression and he is getting away with too much because I am focusing so much attention on his older brother. </p><p>Ok-that is enough for now. I don't know how to make anything short. Sorry! Thank you all.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Firefly2, post: 602599, member: 16651"] Ok-internet/router working for now! Yay! No developmental delays, no family "issues" like violence or divorce or substance abuse or anything like that....there is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and anxiety on dad's side (dad himself seems to have depression but doesn't really want to acknowledge it. He is a great father/husband though!) My son was born emergency c-section with cord around neck and was hospitalized for jaundice for 3 or 4 days. He didn't seem to have any lasting effects due to that. I have stayed home with my kids, except when he was 3 and 4 when I taught preschool. He came with me some days-NOT GOOD. He wanted my attention, generally was not happy and was irritable, angry, and clingy and the parents complained about his behavior. I quit after 2 years. Also-he potty trained a little late-after 3. He would poop in his pants until he was almost 4, and it mostly happened at preschool. Maybe he was trying 2 get my attention-not exactly sure because he wouldn't tell me why he did it. He doesn't go to the bathroom in strange places now, but when he was 4, 5, and 6 he chose to pee in the litter box, garbage can sometimes, and once in his friend's bedroom. He did it because he said peeing in the toilet was boring-lol. I do remember as a baby/toddler our lives revolved around his sleep/food schedule-seriously. If he didn't get his nap or it was shortened-his behavior was terrible. Same for eating. We fed him before we went out to dinner, because if he was even slightly hungry and we had to wait for food, he would have a meltdown and we would have to leave the restaurant. This is probably typical kid stuff. To this day we have to watch what and when he eats, and while his friends stay outside playing til the sun goes down, he has to be in bed no later than 8:30 or we will have major issues the next day because he will not sleep in. He doesn't really have any strange quirks....he is just generally a sweet, sensitive, loving kid OR mean, crabby, stubborn and defiant. Socially (before medications) he was starting to alienate his friends and they didn't come over because he was so mean and nasty to them. He was so crabby they stayed away! he is also a my way or the highway kind of kid, so that causes trouble. As far as violence-he never preplans to hurt anyone. He hits/kicks/grabs when his 2 year old brother hits him or bothers him, or if the dogs are in his way or bother him. He had extreme separation anxiety when younger, but still has some of it. He cried and threw up once when a babysitter came over. She had to leave and we stayed home. I have many examples of him getting worried, worked up and getting sick. He won't go to vacation bible school unless I am there with him (although in the past he would go if I stayed the first 20 mins or so to get him used to it). He got invited to the movies with his friend the other day, and would not go. He said he only goes to the movies with his family. :) He is very sensitive to touch-he can cry over a hangnail. The defiance is very tiring-he pretty much says no or refuses to do anything I say-and I don't bark out orders all day long either! He is very shy, and won't look people in the eye (he does to us and friends/family though). He often comes across as rude to strangers because he will turn away and ignore them, or look at me and ask if we can go home. So much happens every day with him, that I don't know where to start. Do I focus on one thing, or all of it? I really try to enjoy the good times (and if I am exhausted, I put a smile on my face anyway), but it is so hard because I am so stressed out! On my end: I am not consistent with discipline, and I am hard on myself. I count to 3 when he doesn't listen, and he almost always listens before 3, but I can count 25 times before lunch some days! That isn't right. I realize I need to change some things, I just don't know where to begin. I send him to his room for hitting and being disrespectful, but it isn't working. Of all the things I have tried, the only thing that had any impact (and it was small), was when I took away his favorite toys for a month. If he hit his brother, his DSi was gone for a month. If he didn't listen, I took away his scooter for a month. But, in the end, it just made him madder. His 2 year old brother is showing anger/aggression and he is getting away with too much because I am focusing so much attention on his older brother. Ok-that is enough for now. I don't know how to make anything short. Sorry! Thank you all. [/QUOTE]
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My 8 year old is DIFFICULT and I am struggling and need support...
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