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My 9 y/o boy has adhd/odd, I dont know how to help him......
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 488871" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi again <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> What I meant by adoption speicialist is a regular therapist who works a lot with adopted children. We have one here, in fact he is a psychologist but works with nothing but adopted kids and he is GREAT. Most psychologists are not trained much about attachment disorder and how that muddies the waters. I didn't mean that the adoption agency supplied the professionals. in my opinion they don't pick the best and brightest.</p><p></p><p>We have Medicaid too and we have found that university clinics almost all take it. We found our adoption psychologist there. He understands my kids in a way that regular psychologists do not. The adoption itself is a trauma. One day I will post Jumper's excellent school report about her adoption. She is such a happy, typical kid but adoption has impacted her life and has been hard for her at times. She does not have attachment issues because we adopted her straight from the hospital, but if SHE is impacted by it, it makes sense t hat a child who has not been in a regular home with a regular family and who has been neglected by birth relatives as a young child would develop stuff that other kids don't have. </p><p></p><p>Attachment disorder, like Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), is a spectrum. Some kids are just distant but can function. Some are so severely unattached that they are dangerous. For those who never heard my sad story, we adopted an eleven year old boy who had a perfect resume...his only problem was supposed to be cognitive delays. To make a very long story short, we found out three years later that he had secretly been having sex with my two younger kids. He held a knife that he had stolen to them and forced them to act out on each other too. And he hid it well. We had no clue. The other kids were younger than him and so petrified of him that he shut them up until we finally connected the dots (daughter kept getting bladder infections). He was charged by the courts with Sexually Assaulting a Minor (my daughter), although he had assaulted our son and a foster child in our home too and who knows how many kids in the neighborhood. There was more, but that was the absolute worst t hat he did. </p><p></p><p>After being removed, he didn't really miss us, except for our money and his toys. He was taken to a lockdown for young sexual predators and diagnosed with "Severe Reactive Attachment Disorder." They assumed he'd been sexually abused himself, but he had such a traumatic early childhood that he didn't remember and had NO idea, when asked, why he had hurt Sonic and Jumper. He just said "I don't know." I tell this because Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids can be very dangerous to younger kids. It's important to see if this is an issue, and in my opinion since these kids were adopted older a lot of the behavior is probably due to attachment issues and early neglect. There are attachment therapies, but you won't find them just by going to a regular psychologist. In our case, our son had to leave our house. Our other kids were terrified of him, and we did not feel we could care for him anymore. We have not regretted our decision.</p><p></p><p>Please take him to somebody who understands lack of attachment and w hat neglect and abuse in the early years can do. that he can't remember indicates extreme abuse that he may act out on other kids. The sad thing is that with many Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids, the more you show love toward them, the worse they behave. They are afraid of love. They don't even want it. They don't trust you or any adult to love them. Again it takes attachment therapy to maybe reach them. I learned two hard lessons from this: "Love is not always enough (or even helpful) and you can't save every child." I t hought, before this, that any child could be healed with love. WRONG! Not if they are afraid of it or don't even understand it.</p><p></p><p>Good luck, whatever you decide to do. This child probably has a mixture of many problems. If he was exposed to drugs and alcohol in utero, those are also big factors in his behavior. Sometimes I think some of our kids never had a chance and it's so sad :.\\</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 488871, member: 1550"] Hi again :) What I meant by adoption speicialist is a regular therapist who works a lot with adopted children. We have one here, in fact he is a psychologist but works with nothing but adopted kids and he is GREAT. Most psychologists are not trained much about attachment disorder and how that muddies the waters. I didn't mean that the adoption agency supplied the professionals. in my opinion they don't pick the best and brightest. We have Medicaid too and we have found that university clinics almost all take it. We found our adoption psychologist there. He understands my kids in a way that regular psychologists do not. The adoption itself is a trauma. One day I will post Jumper's excellent school report about her adoption. She is such a happy, typical kid but adoption has impacted her life and has been hard for her at times. She does not have attachment issues because we adopted her straight from the hospital, but if SHE is impacted by it, it makes sense t hat a child who has not been in a regular home with a regular family and who has been neglected by birth relatives as a young child would develop stuff that other kids don't have. Attachment disorder, like Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), is a spectrum. Some kids are just distant but can function. Some are so severely unattached that they are dangerous. For those who never heard my sad story, we adopted an eleven year old boy who had a perfect resume...his only problem was supposed to be cognitive delays. To make a very long story short, we found out three years later that he had secretly been having sex with my two younger kids. He held a knife that he had stolen to them and forced them to act out on each other too. And he hid it well. We had no clue. The other kids were younger than him and so petrified of him that he shut them up until we finally connected the dots (daughter kept getting bladder infections). He was charged by the courts with Sexually Assaulting a Minor (my daughter), although he had assaulted our son and a foster child in our home too and who knows how many kids in the neighborhood. There was more, but that was the absolute worst t hat he did. After being removed, he didn't really miss us, except for our money and his toys. He was taken to a lockdown for young sexual predators and diagnosed with "Severe Reactive Attachment Disorder." They assumed he'd been sexually abused himself, but he had such a traumatic early childhood that he didn't remember and had NO idea, when asked, why he had hurt Sonic and Jumper. He just said "I don't know." I tell this because Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids can be very dangerous to younger kids. It's important to see if this is an issue, and in my opinion since these kids were adopted older a lot of the behavior is probably due to attachment issues and early neglect. There are attachment therapies, but you won't find them just by going to a regular psychologist. In our case, our son had to leave our house. Our other kids were terrified of him, and we did not feel we could care for him anymore. We have not regretted our decision. Please take him to somebody who understands lack of attachment and w hat neglect and abuse in the early years can do. that he can't remember indicates extreme abuse that he may act out on other kids. The sad thing is that with many Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids, the more you show love toward them, the worse they behave. They are afraid of love. They don't even want it. They don't trust you or any adult to love them. Again it takes attachment therapy to maybe reach them. I learned two hard lessons from this: "Love is not always enough (or even helpful) and you can't save every child." I t hought, before this, that any child could be healed with love. WRONG! Not if they are afraid of it or don't even understand it. Good luck, whatever you decide to do. This child probably has a mixture of many problems. If he was exposed to drugs and alcohol in utero, those are also big factors in his behavior. Sometimes I think some of our kids never had a chance and it's so sad :.\\ [/QUOTE]
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My 9 y/o boy has adhd/odd, I dont know how to help him......
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