Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
My AA sons bigoted bus driver. Feedback.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="LittleDudesMom" data-source="post: 86035" data-attributes="member: 805"><p>MWM,</p><p></p><p>as the mother of two multiracial children, I have a few thoughts in this matter. First, I don't think in any way this woman's comments are racial harassment. Appropriate, no - disconcerting, yes - bigoted, maybe - but I disagree with the poster who said she was not ignorant. Her remarks smack of ignorance to me. Another poster mentioned a racial discrimination suit. I don't believe her comments contitute racial discrimination either.</p><p></p><p>I believe in order for those two statements (the harassemenet and the discrimination) there must be intent. I don't think this woman intentionally set to hurt you or your children. Is she dumb, sure - is she a racist, certinainly.</p><p></p><p>If I were you, I think would first speak to her directly, perhaps after you finish your morning route on Monday. I would gently say "Listen C, I've been thinking about a couple things you said to me last week that have been bothering me." Proceed to tell her which statements made you uncomfortable. Let her know that in this day and age, those comments could be considered bigotry. Tell her that comments such as those could really hurt a child who has no responsibility for which race they are born into. You know she is a great bus driver and loves the kids, but you didn't want any children's feelings hurt or any children saying something to their parents that could jepardize her job. Let her know that it is challenging raising a family with multiple races and her comments hurt you too.</p><p></p><p>You never know, she may think about it and realize she was out of line. On the other hand, she may still continue to feel the same but keep her comments to herself.</p><p></p><p>I would document her statements and your conversation and just keep them. If, in the future, she continues to say these bigoted, stupid things, then you have the information to take to your boss. You can let him know that you tried to handle this yourself "mother to mother", "employee to employee", "woman to woman", whatever, and it didn't work and you couldn't keep silent.</p><p></p><p>If, on the other hand, it offends your sensabilities to continue to work with this woman, you have no choice to go to your supervisor and "fess up". I wouldn't worry at all about your job security in this issue.</p><p></p><p>Listen, I began dating my soon-to-be ex black bonehead in 1979 - boy am I aging myself! In those many, many years I have seen, heard, and experienced bigotry in action. I have quietly tried to change stereotypes about mixed relationships by the way I live my life and raise my children. I don't get up on soapboxes, nor do I really take personally someone else's ignorance. I believe this is a pure case of ignorance.</p><p></p><p>That's just my 2 cents. The world will never be free from racists. There will always be a race, a religion, etc., that is judged from the outside rather than knowledge from the inside. A quiet conversation could go a long way, you never know.</p><p></p><p>Sharon</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LittleDudesMom, post: 86035, member: 805"] MWM, as the mother of two multiracial children, I have a few thoughts in this matter. First, I don't think in any way this woman's comments are racial harassment. Appropriate, no - disconcerting, yes - bigoted, maybe - but I disagree with the poster who said she was not ignorant. Her remarks smack of ignorance to me. Another poster mentioned a racial discrimination suit. I don't believe her comments contitute racial discrimination either. I believe in order for those two statements (the harassemenet and the discrimination) there must be intent. I don't think this woman intentionally set to hurt you or your children. Is she dumb, sure - is she a racist, certinainly. If I were you, I think would first speak to her directly, perhaps after you finish your morning route on Monday. I would gently say "Listen C, I've been thinking about a couple things you said to me last week that have been bothering me." Proceed to tell her which statements made you uncomfortable. Let her know that in this day and age, those comments could be considered bigotry. Tell her that comments such as those could really hurt a child who has no responsibility for which race they are born into. You know she is a great bus driver and loves the kids, but you didn't want any children's feelings hurt or any children saying something to their parents that could jepardize her job. Let her know that it is challenging raising a family with multiple races and her comments hurt you too. You never know, she may think about it and realize she was out of line. On the other hand, she may still continue to feel the same but keep her comments to herself. I would document her statements and your conversation and just keep them. If, in the future, she continues to say these bigoted, stupid things, then you have the information to take to your boss. You can let him know that you tried to handle this yourself "mother to mother", "employee to employee", "woman to woman", whatever, and it didn't work and you couldn't keep silent. If, on the other hand, it offends your sensabilities to continue to work with this woman, you have no choice to go to your supervisor and "fess up". I wouldn't worry at all about your job security in this issue. Listen, I began dating my soon-to-be ex black bonehead in 1979 - boy am I aging myself! In those many, many years I have seen, heard, and experienced bigotry in action. I have quietly tried to change stereotypes about mixed relationships by the way I live my life and raise my children. I don't get up on soapboxes, nor do I really take personally someone else's ignorance. I believe this is a pure case of ignorance. That's just my 2 cents. The world will never be free from racists. There will always be a race, a religion, etc., that is judged from the outside rather than knowledge from the inside. A quiet conversation could go a long way, you never know. Sharon [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
My AA sons bigoted bus driver. Feedback.
Top