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My abusive adult daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 730332" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Mll, be good to you. You are not young anymore. Nor am I. I have had to deal with a family of origin that scapegoated me my entire life, heck, starting in infancy when I was "stiff" so my mother told me she didn't try to hold me...she propped my bottle. This pretty much continued to be a pattern with my family of origin all my life, especially with a very toxic sister who would reach out to me then dump me. And she wouldn't just dump me. She would try to extra stick it to me by calling the cops on me, even after we moved out of state, every time she got angry at me. And I certainly had not broken the law but if a cop is called, as much as the cops hate it (I was good friends with one of the cops she called a lot once we moved out of state and he thought she was a very strange pest) they do have to come to "talk." My husband and the kids that lived at home when she called the cops loathe her but I kept giving her second chances because she is my biological sister and partly because my dad wanted us to talk.</p><p></p><p>My father passed last August and all motivation to put up with "I love you/I hate you" and her odd pattern of calling the cops to punish me disappeared. After the Estate is settled I will never speak to her again...no reason to. Brother thankfully is executor of the will and he is honest. But, really, I am too old to fight with those who are unkind to me. I have my dear husband and children. Now DNA does not assure a bond. Three of my dear children are adopted. You must have friends who care about you. In my heart, my real sisters were my BFF who passed young from cancer and my sister in law who lives nearby and is a sweetie.</p><p></p><p>If you have no family you can build one. Church is a good place if you go. A yoga class. Senior center. Choir. Book club. Volunteering. Keep busy. At 53 your daughter is not going to change and today is the first day of the rest of your life. You can live it the way you like with nice people. We all deserve to live our golden years in peace, and that often means moving on from certain people even though we love them.</p><p></p><p>Light and love!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 730332, member: 1550"] Mll, be good to you. You are not young anymore. Nor am I. I have had to deal with a family of origin that scapegoated me my entire life, heck, starting in infancy when I was "stiff" so my mother told me she didn't try to hold me...she propped my bottle. This pretty much continued to be a pattern with my family of origin all my life, especially with a very toxic sister who would reach out to me then dump me. And she wouldn't just dump me. She would try to extra stick it to me by calling the cops on me, even after we moved out of state, every time she got angry at me. And I certainly had not broken the law but if a cop is called, as much as the cops hate it (I was good friends with one of the cops she called a lot once we moved out of state and he thought she was a very strange pest) they do have to come to "talk." My husband and the kids that lived at home when she called the cops loathe her but I kept giving her second chances because she is my biological sister and partly because my dad wanted us to talk. My father passed last August and all motivation to put up with "I love you/I hate you" and her odd pattern of calling the cops to punish me disappeared. After the Estate is settled I will never speak to her again...no reason to. Brother thankfully is executor of the will and he is honest. But, really, I am too old to fight with those who are unkind to me. I have my dear husband and children. Now DNA does not assure a bond. Three of my dear children are adopted. You must have friends who care about you. In my heart, my real sisters were my BFF who passed young from cancer and my sister in law who lives nearby and is a sweetie. If you have no family you can build one. Church is a good place if you go. A yoga class. Senior center. Choir. Book club. Volunteering. Keep busy. At 53 your daughter is not going to change and today is the first day of the rest of your life. You can live it the way you like with nice people. We all deserve to live our golden years in peace, and that often means moving on from certain people even though we love them. Light and love! [/QUOTE]
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