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My Adult daughter has issues with me but won't tell me why?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 558844" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Hi Susie, welcome. I'm sorry you are going through this with your daughter. I know you mentioned that she isn't one to come to you and if you ask she'll say there isn't anything wrong, yet, it seems it may be worthwhile to tell her you miss her and feel badly that a distance has developed between you and the distance is painful for you. You might want to make every attempt in a communication with her to not blame or judge and not assume that you did anything wrong, but simply to ask her what has to happen for you and she and your grandson to once again be close. </p><p></p><p>In my opinion and experience these kinds of family issues can start out small and develop into something much bigger if left to fester and grow. As you both try to avoid the elephant in the room, the elephant just gets larger and more powerful. She may not know how to talk to you, often mothers and daughters have a very complicated relationship to begin with and it's not always easy to bring something into the light that's lived in the dark for a long time. If it were me, I would broach the subject with care, I would let her know I love her and miss her and would like to know what I could do to start a dialogue to mend fences. If you and she can't find a common ground and both would agree, you might look for a third party, a counselor, a therapist, clergy, a trusted friend who could be neutral, to help to guide you into talking to each other and trying to find a bridge to stand on to get your connection back. </p><p></p><p>Being a daughter and a Mom and a grandmother to a granddaughter, I can attest to the complexities of these relationships and the work it takes to keep them loving and healthy. Don't wait any longer for something to happen, begin some kind of dialogue with her. And, just a word of caution about something I've had to work on as well, as mom's we can be critical and come off to our daughters as judgmental and controlling when to us, it feels like we're just trying to help, which to them feels like we don't think they know what they're doing, or we know better, it can create a gap between us. I would try to talk to her first. Keep posting and venting here, it helps to express your feelings and it helps us to know your whole story so we can better support you. I'm sorry you're experiencing this, I know how painful it can be. I hope you two can work it out. I'm sending you caring thoughts and gentle hugs................I'm glad you found us...........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 558844, member: 13542"] Hi Susie, welcome. I'm sorry you are going through this with your daughter. I know you mentioned that she isn't one to come to you and if you ask she'll say there isn't anything wrong, yet, it seems it may be worthwhile to tell her you miss her and feel badly that a distance has developed between you and the distance is painful for you. You might want to make every attempt in a communication with her to not blame or judge and not assume that you did anything wrong, but simply to ask her what has to happen for you and she and your grandson to once again be close. In my opinion and experience these kinds of family issues can start out small and develop into something much bigger if left to fester and grow. As you both try to avoid the elephant in the room, the elephant just gets larger and more powerful. She may not know how to talk to you, often mothers and daughters have a very complicated relationship to begin with and it's not always easy to bring something into the light that's lived in the dark for a long time. If it were me, I would broach the subject with care, I would let her know I love her and miss her and would like to know what I could do to start a dialogue to mend fences. If you and she can't find a common ground and both would agree, you might look for a third party, a counselor, a therapist, clergy, a trusted friend who could be neutral, to help to guide you into talking to each other and trying to find a bridge to stand on to get your connection back. Being a daughter and a Mom and a grandmother to a granddaughter, I can attest to the complexities of these relationships and the work it takes to keep them loving and healthy. Don't wait any longer for something to happen, begin some kind of dialogue with her. And, just a word of caution about something I've had to work on as well, as mom's we can be critical and come off to our daughters as judgmental and controlling when to us, it feels like we're just trying to help, which to them feels like we don't think they know what they're doing, or we know better, it can create a gap between us. I would try to talk to her first. Keep posting and venting here, it helps to express your feelings and it helps us to know your whole story so we can better support you. I'm sorry you're experiencing this, I know how painful it can be. I hope you two can work it out. I'm sending you caring thoughts and gentle hugs................I'm glad you found us........... [/QUOTE]
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My Adult daughter has issues with me but won't tell me why?
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