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Substance Abuse
My adult son is a homeless addict and I'm dying inside
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 714943" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Dawn Marie, welcome. I'm so sorry you are experiencing the pain and suffering that substance abuse creates for the family members. </p><p></p><p>You may want to read the article at the bottom of my post here on Detachment. It may offer you some strength and solace.</p><p></p><p>It is wonderful that you are in counseling and going to Narc Anon, around here we need a lot of help. This is very, very hard stuff. We get it. In my experience, counseling and 12 step groups offer you a lot of support and guidance and information. You may also benefit from Families Anonymous, many here have found comfort there. A good book if you're interested is Codependent No More by Melodie Beatty. </p><p></p><p>Most of us begin this journey in a similar place as you are now. We try everything, over and over until we finally recognize that it is up to the substance abuser to change, no one can make them do it, no amount of money, attention, time or love can make anyone change if they are not ready. Your son is not ready. Seeing him so thin is horrible, I agree, I have been in those shoes too. He seems to have made it clear, he is not ready. Believe him. </p><p></p><p>So what is left for you to do is for YOU to change. Continue with your counseling and 12 step groups. Seek support wherever you feel comfortable doing so. Read books. Concentrate on yourself, focus on YOU, make sure you are getting your needs met. Every single day do something kind for yourself. Take small steps. They lead to big changes. Keep posting, it helps. Read our stories. Let go of the guilt, you didn't create it and you can't fix it. It is probably not a good idea for your son to live with you, many substance abusers steal from their family, it <em><u>should</u></em> be a deal breaker so I believe you did the right thing. </p><p></p><p>Many adult kids on this site have been homeless, including my own daughter and my schizophrenic brother....they find others in the same boat and connect. It is surely not ideal and of course not what we want for our kids.....but for the most part, they find their way on the streets. There are soup kitchens and shelters, there are places they can shower and utilize computers, there are stores that hold food for them daily, there are options they find which you and I are not aware of. Your son can dial 211 which is a national resource for social services and he can find out what the resources in your community are. And if it feels right you can call and share that info with your son.....or not.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you're here. Sending you a big hug, from one mothers heart to another. Hang in there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 714943, member: 13542"] Dawn Marie, welcome. I'm so sorry you are experiencing the pain and suffering that substance abuse creates for the family members. You may want to read the article at the bottom of my post here on Detachment. It may offer you some strength and solace. It is wonderful that you are in counseling and going to Narc Anon, around here we need a lot of help. This is very, very hard stuff. We get it. In my experience, counseling and 12 step groups offer you a lot of support and guidance and information. You may also benefit from Families Anonymous, many here have found comfort there. A good book if you're interested is Codependent No More by Melodie Beatty. Most of us begin this journey in a similar place as you are now. We try everything, over and over until we finally recognize that it is up to the substance abuser to change, no one can make them do it, no amount of money, attention, time or love can make anyone change if they are not ready. Your son is not ready. Seeing him so thin is horrible, I agree, I have been in those shoes too. He seems to have made it clear, he is not ready. Believe him. So what is left for you to do is for YOU to change. Continue with your counseling and 12 step groups. Seek support wherever you feel comfortable doing so. Read books. Concentrate on yourself, focus on YOU, make sure you are getting your needs met. Every single day do something kind for yourself. Take small steps. They lead to big changes. Keep posting, it helps. Read our stories. Let go of the guilt, you didn't create it and you can't fix it. It is probably not a good idea for your son to live with you, many substance abusers steal from their family, it [I][U]should[/U][/I] be a deal breaker so I believe you did the right thing. Many adult kids on this site have been homeless, including my own daughter and my schizophrenic brother....they find others in the same boat and connect. It is surely not ideal and of course not what we want for our kids.....but for the most part, they find their way on the streets. There are soup kitchens and shelters, there are places they can shower and utilize computers, there are stores that hold food for them daily, there are options they find which you and I are not aware of. Your son can dial 211 which is a national resource for social services and he can find out what the resources in your community are. And if it feels right you can call and share that info with your son.....or not. I'm glad you're here. Sending you a big hug, from one mothers heart to another. Hang in there. [/QUOTE]
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My adult son is a homeless addict and I'm dying inside
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