Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
my adult son is terrorizing our family
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Deni D" data-source="post: 756209" data-attributes="member: 22840"><p>Vic ~ I can relate to the whiplash phone calls and text messages. One minute my son loves me and the next he's calling me names I could never have imagined and attempting to character assignate me, just way out there.</p><p></p><p>I know my son is very mentally unbalanced and is in denial of his mental illness. In my son's case he was diagnosed at a young age and took medication until he found drugs and drinking.</p><p></p><p>Something I've seen over the years is I get the worst of it, because I'm the mom. I think your son might not necessarily be in the bad place he portrays to you all of the time, instead only that he reaches out when he's feeling vulnerable.</p><p></p><p>I'm not exactly sure if my son plans the draw me in type of conversations he's been prone to lately just to set me up for what I call the "take down" but I have a hunch it's really confusion with trying to make sense of his world. One minute to him I'm a loving mother the next I'm the devil. I think my son is having a hard time justifying his "truth" against his actual experiences with me.</p><p></p><p>My son's "truth" is that he was abused by me all of his life and this so called truth seems to be his excuse for anything and everything he falls down on. My son is also very intelligent, but that intelligence does not include emotional intelligence. Sometimes we confuse a high IQ with a high EQ, totally different animals.</p><p></p><p>This so called "truth" has been shared by my son to any relative or close friend of mine who would stay on the phone long enough with him to listen to him. In my case I know I'm very lucky because there is not one person who knows me intimately who has fallen for it. Most will not even tell me what he has said to them because they know how badly it would affect me, which is a good thing, a very good thing.</p><p></p><p>I've also had strange sideways connections from my son where it seems he's trying to let me know what he's up to, or rather what he wants me to know. I haven't been able to figure out these things, maybe it's an attempt for them to want us to see them in a good light or to try to make us see they are trying, I just don't know.</p><p></p><p>There are things you and your family members can do to attempt to stop your son. But the thing is someone who's not operating in the same world as most of us do is not going to get it and follow what the law requires. As a civil case you could have a lawyer send him a cease and desist letter and then you could file harassment charges against him if he does not stop. And then you could take him to court for harassment. These are lengthy and expensive moves, against someone who may only end up in jail for a few days for continuing his behavior and/or eventually a short psychiatric stay at best, if you are lucky. Maybe one of your relatives would have better luck than you with filing harassment charges for him to pay attention. I won't do it myself because I want to leave things open just in case my son is ever willing to go back on medication but my "like a daughter" is planning to file harassment charges against my son if he contacts her again with another vile text message. </p><p></p><p>I love blindsided's example of "let go" and "let god", visualization is something that works very well for me. I'm going to use that in the future.</p><p></p><p>We are truly at a place where we can only do for us and pray and hope they somehow come to a place where they will do what is best for them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Deni D, post: 756209, member: 22840"] Vic ~ I can relate to the whiplash phone calls and text messages. One minute my son loves me and the next he's calling me names I could never have imagined and attempting to character assignate me, just way out there. I know my son is very mentally unbalanced and is in denial of his mental illness. In my son's case he was diagnosed at a young age and took medication until he found drugs and drinking. Something I've seen over the years is I get the worst of it, because I'm the mom. I think your son might not necessarily be in the bad place he portrays to you all of the time, instead only that he reaches out when he's feeling vulnerable. I'm not exactly sure if my son plans the draw me in type of conversations he's been prone to lately just to set me up for what I call the "take down" but I have a hunch it's really confusion with trying to make sense of his world. One minute to him I'm a loving mother the next I'm the devil. I think my son is having a hard time justifying his "truth" against his actual experiences with me. My son's "truth" is that he was abused by me all of his life and this so called truth seems to be his excuse for anything and everything he falls down on. My son is also very intelligent, but that intelligence does not include emotional intelligence. Sometimes we confuse a high IQ with a high EQ, totally different animals. This so called "truth" has been shared by my son to any relative or close friend of mine who would stay on the phone long enough with him to listen to him. In my case I know I'm very lucky because there is not one person who knows me intimately who has fallen for it. Most will not even tell me what he has said to them because they know how badly it would affect me, which is a good thing, a very good thing. I've also had strange sideways connections from my son where it seems he's trying to let me know what he's up to, or rather what he wants me to know. I haven't been able to figure out these things, maybe it's an attempt for them to want us to see them in a good light or to try to make us see they are trying, I just don't know. There are things you and your family members can do to attempt to stop your son. But the thing is someone who's not operating in the same world as most of us do is not going to get it and follow what the law requires. As a civil case you could have a lawyer send him a cease and desist letter and then you could file harassment charges against him if he does not stop. And then you could take him to court for harassment. These are lengthy and expensive moves, against someone who may only end up in jail for a few days for continuing his behavior and/or eventually a short psychiatric stay at best, if you are lucky. Maybe one of your relatives would have better luck than you with filing harassment charges for him to pay attention. I won't do it myself because I want to leave things open just in case my son is ever willing to go back on medication but my "like a daughter" is planning to file harassment charges against my son if he contacts her again with another vile text message. I love blindsided's example of "let go" and "let god", visualization is something that works very well for me. I'm going to use that in the future. We are truly at a place where we can only do for us and pray and hope they somehow come to a place where they will do what is best for them. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
my adult son is terrorizing our family
Top