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My analysis of a difficult child toddler's mind
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 152516" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>When dealing with todders, which I've done alot over the years, I attempt to look at a particular situation like they might see it.</p><p> </p><p>Two year olds are hard. You've spent the first two years as a parent forfilling their needs and most of their desires. Suddenly as they attempt to assert themselves, this word "no" comes into play. </p><p> </p><p>I like your comparision to showing a 2 yr old an ice cream cone and the bike. To the child there likely isn't much difference between the two. I use the word No, then I'm quick to re-direct to something else or some other place in the store. Usually it works, even with a difficult child. But then I've had lots of practice. lol</p><p> </p><p>While easy child and I were in the GAP this weekend there was a mother with a 2 yr old daughter. Mom is pushing a stroller full of packages from other stores. Daughter asks for something I assume Mom had bought or perhaps a toy she'd brought along. Mom tells this 2 yr old that she doesn't deserve what she wants because she's been bad. Two year old of course is shattered and starts to cry and fall apart. Mom starts walking away from her but continues into a long spiel about how the 2 yr old's behavior wasn't good enough for what she wanted, and until she could tell her Mom why it was so important for her to have the object of her desire she wasn't going to get it!</p><p> </p><p>And I'm thinking to myself, Mom is an idiot! </p><p> </p><p>The little girl is sobbing and completely falling apart while Mom keeps demanding to be told why she deserves to get what she wants. By the time we got out of earshot I was ready to step into the situation because it was becoming painful to watch.</p><p> </p><p>easy child was so furious she was red faced and biting her tongue.</p><p> </p><p>That poor little girl had not a clue what her Mom wanted out of her. And if she did happen to understand (fat chance) she most likely didn't have the language skills to meet the demand.</p><p> </p><p>I do try not to judge others in those situations. But some simple redirection or even distraction probably would have put an end to the whole thing. Mom had turned a simple matter into a drawn out affair of making the little girl miserable.</p><p> </p><p>I've been coaching Nichole on re-direction and distraction. Nichole is becoming lazy in the dicipline dept and prefers to fuss at Aubrey instead of stepping in and putting an end to whatever behavior is happening. I keep telling her that just saying No isn't enough. Aubrey isn't able to read her mind. She has to be specific about what she wants the child to do or not to do.</p><p> </p><p>And every time Nichole gets frustrated because I don't have trouble getting Aubrey to do what I want, I explain yet again. She tends to think of Aubrey as a "little grown up" instead of a 2 year old.<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/dissapointed.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":dissapointed:" title="dissapointed :dissapointed:" data-shortname=":dissapointed:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 152516, member: 84"] When dealing with todders, which I've done alot over the years, I attempt to look at a particular situation like they might see it. Two year olds are hard. You've spent the first two years as a parent forfilling their needs and most of their desires. Suddenly as they attempt to assert themselves, this word "no" comes into play. I like your comparision to showing a 2 yr old an ice cream cone and the bike. To the child there likely isn't much difference between the two. I use the word No, then I'm quick to re-direct to something else or some other place in the store. Usually it works, even with a difficult child. But then I've had lots of practice. lol While easy child and I were in the GAP this weekend there was a mother with a 2 yr old daughter. Mom is pushing a stroller full of packages from other stores. Daughter asks for something I assume Mom had bought or perhaps a toy she'd brought along. Mom tells this 2 yr old that she doesn't deserve what she wants because she's been bad. Two year old of course is shattered and starts to cry and fall apart. Mom starts walking away from her but continues into a long spiel about how the 2 yr old's behavior wasn't good enough for what she wanted, and until she could tell her Mom why it was so important for her to have the object of her desire she wasn't going to get it! And I'm thinking to myself, Mom is an idiot! The little girl is sobbing and completely falling apart while Mom keeps demanding to be told why she deserves to get what she wants. By the time we got out of earshot I was ready to step into the situation because it was becoming painful to watch. easy child was so furious she was red faced and biting her tongue. That poor little girl had not a clue what her Mom wanted out of her. And if she did happen to understand (fat chance) she most likely didn't have the language skills to meet the demand. I do try not to judge others in those situations. But some simple redirection or even distraction probably would have put an end to the whole thing. Mom had turned a simple matter into a drawn out affair of making the little girl miserable. I've been coaching Nichole on re-direction and distraction. Nichole is becoming lazy in the dicipline dept and prefers to fuss at Aubrey instead of stepping in and putting an end to whatever behavior is happening. I keep telling her that just saying No isn't enough. Aubrey isn't able to read her mind. She has to be specific about what she wants the child to do or not to do. And every time Nichole gets frustrated because I don't have trouble getting Aubrey to do what I want, I explain yet again. She tends to think of Aubrey as a "little grown up" instead of a 2 year old.:dissapointed: [/QUOTE]
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