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General Parenting
My consequence for easy child's defiant behavior - your thoughts
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 208106" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi. A few thoughts having had one big difficult child who started to use drugs at 12. First off, you say she's involved with boys too soon. As hard as it is to imagine you may want to check for drugs and ask her if she's had any type of early sex, even if it's just making out. Frankly, she's young and that may be getting to her. I had no idea what my 12 year old was doing because I was very naive. Also, I would take her electronics, but not the clothes and hair stuff. It's too humiliating. I do believe in discipline, but not humiliating the kids. in my opinion that just makes them act out more, hate you more, and listen less. I'd take the computer, the cell, maybe the television, the Ipod, etc. and leave it at that for her to earn back. That should be enough. Don't depend just on a behavioralist. As they get older, the less those types of therapists work. My daughter wouldn't even listen. She climbed out her window at night and ran around the streets until we caught her. </p><p>On the topic of school, I would have not jumped on her right away. I would have wanted to know more about the project, and if she was having a lot of trouble in a particular class to see if there was actually an issue going on that could actually be solved.Bad stuff could be going on at school that you don't know about. I wouldn't want to cut off the communication. I realize it's not fun to be disrespected, but maybe there's a story behind it and the child is acting out because of fear or anxiety. It won't be the last time she disrespects you either. Goes with the territory. Good luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 208106, member: 1550"] Hi. A few thoughts having had one big difficult child who started to use drugs at 12. First off, you say she's involved with boys too soon. As hard as it is to imagine you may want to check for drugs and ask her if she's had any type of early sex, even if it's just making out. Frankly, she's young and that may be getting to her. I had no idea what my 12 year old was doing because I was very naive. Also, I would take her electronics, but not the clothes and hair stuff. It's too humiliating. I do believe in discipline, but not humiliating the kids. in my opinion that just makes them act out more, hate you more, and listen less. I'd take the computer, the cell, maybe the television, the Ipod, etc. and leave it at that for her to earn back. That should be enough. Don't depend just on a behavioralist. As they get older, the less those types of therapists work. My daughter wouldn't even listen. She climbed out her window at night and ran around the streets until we caught her. On the topic of school, I would have not jumped on her right away. I would have wanted to know more about the project, and if she was having a lot of trouble in a particular class to see if there was actually an issue going on that could actually be solved.Bad stuff could be going on at school that you don't know about. I wouldn't want to cut off the communication. I realize it's not fun to be disrespected, but maybe there's a story behind it and the child is acting out because of fear or anxiety. It won't be the last time she disrespects you either. Goes with the territory. Good luck. [/QUOTE]
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My consequence for easy child's defiant behavior - your thoughts
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