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My Daughter is a Prostitute
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 547579" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I am so sorry Bean, I feel your pain, I think many of us do. I agree that this is a devastating experience for a parent, to separate from your own child. I also agree that getting help for ourselves is of utmost importance.</p><p></p><p>Because of my own experience with my daughter and her mental illness, bad choices, illogical ways of thinking, odd self focus, inability to "future think" and lack of "normal" behavior, what became imperative was making a choice to live <strong>MY life</strong> separated from hers. That is certainly detachment, however, from my way of thinking, it was more about acceptance. Acceptance for simply what is. And, that "what is" that reality, was having a profoundly negative impact on my life. After much trying and failing, it became evident that there was nothing else I could do for my daughter, only she can make the choices necessary to live a productive, successful, healthy, good life (or not). </p><p></p><p>I don't know what's right or wrong for other parents, it's such a personal decision to detach, let go, accept, whatever you call it, to "lose" a kid, as you put it. And I don't think there is a right or wrong either, it is a path we find ourselves on, we do our best, we suffer in our incredible disappointments and sorrows, the heartbreak of it is extraordinary in it's depth and breadth...... and we keep putting one foot in front of the other, sometimes with grand effort. Each of us finds our own way through the dreaded, creepy and scary maze of <em>detachment.</em></p><p></p><p>Your last comment about being wrapped up in it and your life being at a standstill for 7 years seems to be where many of us land. I believe there is a point we all seem to reach where we feel as if we have done enough, we have reached critical mass, there is no where else to go, nothing else to do, and then we stop. Surviving is not enough for you. It isn't enough for me, it isn't enough for most of us. I guess I reached a point where I wanted to live more then I wanted to keep saving my daughter from her self. And then I began accepting it. And then it got better. ((((HUGS))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 547579, member: 13542"] I am so sorry Bean, I feel your pain, I think many of us do. I agree that this is a devastating experience for a parent, to separate from your own child. I also agree that getting help for ourselves is of utmost importance. Because of my own experience with my daughter and her mental illness, bad choices, illogical ways of thinking, odd self focus, inability to "future think" and lack of "normal" behavior, what became imperative was making a choice to live [B]MY life[/B] separated from hers. That is certainly detachment, however, from my way of thinking, it was more about acceptance. Acceptance for simply what is. And, that "what is" that reality, was having a profoundly negative impact on my life. After much trying and failing, it became evident that there was nothing else I could do for my daughter, only she can make the choices necessary to live a productive, successful, healthy, good life (or not). I don't know what's right or wrong for other parents, it's such a personal decision to detach, let go, accept, whatever you call it, to "lose" a kid, as you put it. And I don't think there is a right or wrong either, it is a path we find ourselves on, we do our best, we suffer in our incredible disappointments and sorrows, the heartbreak of it is extraordinary in it's depth and breadth...... and we keep putting one foot in front of the other, sometimes with grand effort. Each of us finds our own way through the dreaded, creepy and scary maze of [I]detachment.[/I] Your last comment about being wrapped up in it and your life being at a standstill for 7 years seems to be where many of us land. I believe there is a point we all seem to reach where we feel as if we have done enough, we have reached critical mass, there is no where else to go, nothing else to do, and then we stop. Surviving is not enough for you. It isn't enough for me, it isn't enough for most of us. I guess I reached a point where I wanted to live more then I wanted to keep saving my daughter from her self. And then I began accepting it. And then it got better. ((((HUGS)))) [/QUOTE]
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