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My daughter lost her best friend. What to do?
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 96697" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hi MWM, </p><p></p><p>I didn't raise girls, but I was the odd man out most every time so I know the pain even though it's been many decades. I wish I knew then what I know now about being myself and not worrying so much, but I think it's been established that it's typical tween behavior. </p><p></p><p>Since she's not the "outgoing" type would she welcome an opportunity to journal her thoughts? Say maybe you buy her a diary of sorts with a little lock? Or find a space to put a larger notebook in that no one finds? Journaling helped me about that age and it's been a life long tool for frustration and learning about myself. Some of the stuff I wrote, OMG I laugh at my own self. But that's what journaling is about. </p><p></p><p>As far as being in the neighborhood with AA or AW kids - I don't know if that matters to our kids like it was beat into our heads. It's a tough call as a parent, but my son has told me over and over that I'm OLD SKOOL. The more I go to young adult functions the more I think he's correct. It matters - but not to them as much as it seemed to matter to our generation. My son makes friends wherever he goes - I love that he adopted the I don't care about your looks, abilities, brains attitude. It's a beautiful thing about him in a person that can otherwise be so ugly at times. </p><p></p><p>If journaling isn't an answer can you find a club/group or something that would keep her interested? My son actually turned down EVERYTHING we suggested until it came to Stomp dancing. I nearly fell out of my chair. I thought - baseball, boys club, chess club, art classes, motocross, and you pick Stomp? Whats next double dutch? (Which he said - naw I can already do that and braid hair) We laughed but he was serious. </p><p></p><p>I'm sorry for her feeling ostracized. And at this age there isn't much that I can remember I wanted anyone to do for me except give me what I wanted and well - to know my Mother is to know that THAT was not going to happen. We did a ton of stuff = don't get me wrong, but I still send her a list for Christmas every year asking for a pony. Last year she sent me a picture of a crying child with a ghostbusters sign over the pony and the caption said NOT YOUR PONY. I got the message - This year I'm asking for a donkey! (that ought to chap her ...) haha. </p><p></p><p>Sorry for the struggle. </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 96697, member: 4964"] Hi MWM, I didn't raise girls, but I was the odd man out most every time so I know the pain even though it's been many decades. I wish I knew then what I know now about being myself and not worrying so much, but I think it's been established that it's typical tween behavior. Since she's not the "outgoing" type would she welcome an opportunity to journal her thoughts? Say maybe you buy her a diary of sorts with a little lock? Or find a space to put a larger notebook in that no one finds? Journaling helped me about that age and it's been a life long tool for frustration and learning about myself. Some of the stuff I wrote, OMG I laugh at my own self. But that's what journaling is about. As far as being in the neighborhood with AA or AW kids - I don't know if that matters to our kids like it was beat into our heads. It's a tough call as a parent, but my son has told me over and over that I'm OLD SKOOL. The more I go to young adult functions the more I think he's correct. It matters - but not to them as much as it seemed to matter to our generation. My son makes friends wherever he goes - I love that he adopted the I don't care about your looks, abilities, brains attitude. It's a beautiful thing about him in a person that can otherwise be so ugly at times. If journaling isn't an answer can you find a club/group or something that would keep her interested? My son actually turned down EVERYTHING we suggested until it came to Stomp dancing. I nearly fell out of my chair. I thought - baseball, boys club, chess club, art classes, motocross, and you pick Stomp? Whats next double dutch? (Which he said - naw I can already do that and braid hair) We laughed but he was serious. I'm sorry for her feeling ostracized. And at this age there isn't much that I can remember I wanted anyone to do for me except give me what I wanted and well - to know my Mother is to know that THAT was not going to happen. We did a ton of stuff = don't get me wrong, but I still send her a list for Christmas every year asking for a pony. Last year she sent me a picture of a crying child with a ghostbusters sign over the pony and the caption said NOT YOUR PONY. I got the message - This year I'm asking for a donkey! (that ought to chap her ...) haha. Sorry for the struggle. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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My daughter lost her best friend. What to do?
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