Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Special Ed 101
My daughter
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 709249" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I am like this too.</p><p></p><p>I think that families are like how you describe yours and your ex's. If it is not one thing it is another. I do not have a history of severe mental illness in my genetic family, but there is serious neurosis on my maternal side (me too) and nearly everybody on my Dad's side was an alcoholic. I think every family has something. Most families have a lot of things. It is just they conceal them; they do not lead with them. It's easy for us to feel vulnerable, when other people pretend to be something they are not. I feel vulnerable a lot.</p><p></p><p>That was the strange thing about my work. I did not feel vulnerable there.</p><p>First, I think I share a lot in common with you. At my core. But I kind of forced myself to be a different person. Trying to ignore and suppress my basic self, kind of like the round hole/square peg deal.</p><p></p><p>In prison you have to center yourself to survive. I think in a strange way that taught me the ability to calm and center myself, as long as I was in that environment. To function I had to listen to one voice inside me. needed to be decisive, to think in the moment. I learned to trust myself. I got confidence. I was called on to make life and death decisions. My own anxiety, vulnerability, self-doubt I had to push aside. Traveling was like that too, for me. Having to dig down deep, needing to be self-reliant.</p><p></p><p>I think there was the thing too that a place of danger and chaos felt normal to me. I think I needed that drama so that I did not feel so intensely.</p><p></p><p>But then after my mother died and I had such a hard time for such a long time, I realized that it was not necessarily a good thing to push my own feelings down. That yes I had grown strong in a large part of myself, but that those feelings pushed down were me too. And they were not grown up. That a lot of pain had gotten pushed down and was never voiced.</p><p></p><p>With all of this I came to think it was not in my interest to do that work in that setting anymore--and that maybe, it was not so good for me to do that work anymore at all--even though I am very good at it and it gratifies me a lot. A lot of self-esteem is tied up for me in my profession. But I am thinking that if I was a good mother to myself...I might not necessarily work again. And do stuff like art and dance or make a move, who knows?</p><p></p><p>I go back and forth all the time. Thanks for asking.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 709249, member: 18958"] I am like this too. I think that families are like how you describe yours and your ex's. If it is not one thing it is another. I do not have a history of severe mental illness in my genetic family, but there is serious neurosis on my maternal side (me too) and nearly everybody on my Dad's side was an alcoholic. I think every family has something. Most families have a lot of things. It is just they conceal them; they do not lead with them. It's easy for us to feel vulnerable, when other people pretend to be something they are not. I feel vulnerable a lot. That was the strange thing about my work. I did not feel vulnerable there. First, I think I share a lot in common with you. At my core. But I kind of forced myself to be a different person. Trying to ignore and suppress my basic self, kind of like the round hole/square peg deal. In prison you have to center yourself to survive. I think in a strange way that taught me the ability to calm and center myself, as long as I was in that environment. To function I had to listen to one voice inside me. needed to be decisive, to think in the moment. I learned to trust myself. I got confidence. I was called on to make life and death decisions. My own anxiety, vulnerability, self-doubt I had to push aside. Traveling was like that too, for me. Having to dig down deep, needing to be self-reliant. I think there was the thing too that a place of danger and chaos felt normal to me. I think I needed that drama so that I did not feel so intensely. But then after my mother died and I had such a hard time for such a long time, I realized that it was not necessarily a good thing to push my own feelings down. That yes I had grown strong in a large part of myself, but that those feelings pushed down were me too. And they were not grown up. That a lot of pain had gotten pushed down and was never voiced. With all of this I came to think it was not in my interest to do that work in that setting anymore--and that maybe, it was not so good for me to do that work anymore at all--even though I am very good at it and it gratifies me a lot. A lot of self-esteem is tied up for me in my profession. But I am thinking that if I was a good mother to myself...I might not necessarily work again. And do stuff like art and dance or make a move, who knows? I go back and forth all the time. Thanks for asking. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Special Ed 101
My daughter
Top