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My daughters new husband is.........
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 187999" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>I keep thinking back to my marriage - </p><p> </p><p>HE thought we had an open marriage - I was sure it was just he and I. </p><p> </p><p>My mother - NEVER EVER said anything about him or against him or for him for that matter (not much nice to say). The only thing she said was the day I finally left and had Dude - "After 13 years I'll finally sleep tonight." </p><p> </p><p>Mom was right - had she spoken to ME against him - I would have defended him to her. </p><p>If she has spoken FOR him - it would have worsened my already low self esteem or made me wonder "what IS wrong with me? even my Mom thinks this behavior is normal."</p><p> </p><p>So that being said if YOU want MY advice? I think you should stay AWAY from this and allow them to work it out. I think what Fran said also is very true - she's accusing - he's defending and that is NO way to build a lifetime of trust. As far as your daughter calling the 18 year old? What did she expect this woman to say "Yes I slept with your husband?" - not gonna happen. And he's going to continue to go out, go to meetings. Either she can decide NOW that she's going to trust him or doesn't. </p><p> </p><p>If she trusted him enough to marry him - what would make her think all of a sudden that he's cheating? There is more to this story that I don't think you want to know. And as for the go to a shrink she's f'ing crazy - WOW - not fair. But neither was her accusing him of something. </p><p> </p><p>They (not you) need to learn how to fight fair. Maybe my only suggestion would be that they both get couples therapy for learning how to fight fair.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 187999, member: 4964"] I keep thinking back to my marriage - HE thought we had an open marriage - I was sure it was just he and I. My mother - NEVER EVER said anything about him or against him or for him for that matter (not much nice to say). The only thing she said was the day I finally left and had Dude - "After 13 years I'll finally sleep tonight." Mom was right - had she spoken to ME against him - I would have defended him to her. If she has spoken FOR him - it would have worsened my already low self esteem or made me wonder "what IS wrong with me? even my Mom thinks this behavior is normal." So that being said if YOU want MY advice? I think you should stay AWAY from this and allow them to work it out. I think what Fran said also is very true - she's accusing - he's defending and that is NO way to build a lifetime of trust. As far as your daughter calling the 18 year old? What did she expect this woman to say "Yes I slept with your husband?" - not gonna happen. And he's going to continue to go out, go to meetings. Either she can decide NOW that she's going to trust him or doesn't. If she trusted him enough to marry him - what would make her think all of a sudden that he's cheating? There is more to this story that I don't think you want to know. And as for the go to a shrink she's f'ing crazy - WOW - not fair. But neither was her accusing him of something. They (not you) need to learn how to fight fair. Maybe my only suggestion would be that they both get couples therapy for learning how to fight fair. [/QUOTE]
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