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My difficult child is in jail
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 648448" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>I hear you. I feel for you.</p><p>So, it sounds like he's in his 30s? On his own? I'm not great at math, but if he has worked somewhere for 18 yrs, he's got to be in his 30s. He needs an advocate, a court-appointed one, who can ensure that the judge knows that his IQ is 65. It also sounds like he has anxiety issues, so if he's not on medications, perhaps you could persuade him to take them. If he can hold down a job for 18 yrs, he should be able to take his own medications.</p><p>If he is, indeed, in his 30s and living on his own, there is not much you can do... except learn to detach. Learn to let go of some of the pain, somehow. Join a mental health support group, find time for yourself, maintain relationships with family and friends you enjoy and can relax with. Read the articles on this board on detachment. There are some very useful, as well as beautifully written pieces.</p><p>Easier said than done, I know.</p><p>Our laws are typically written to protect victims, not criminals. If your son has written bad checks, he is considered a criminal. Our system has a few, and I emphasize, <em>few</em>, safeguards in place for disabled or mentally challenged adults, but you really have to fight for them. I just read a report that something like only 15% of those in jail/prison are labeled as needing medications, and of those, fewer than 50% actually get them. That's just one example. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p><p>Not to make you more depressed, but just to say, it is an institutional problem. They're not targeting or eliminating your son deliberately. There are just too many cases to thoroughly follow through.</p><p>I'm glad you found us here, but so sorry you had to.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 648448, member: 3419"] I hear you. I feel for you. So, it sounds like he's in his 30s? On his own? I'm not great at math, but if he has worked somewhere for 18 yrs, he's got to be in his 30s. He needs an advocate, a court-appointed one, who can ensure that the judge knows that his IQ is 65. It also sounds like he has anxiety issues, so if he's not on medications, perhaps you could persuade him to take them. If he can hold down a job for 18 yrs, he should be able to take his own medications. If he is, indeed, in his 30s and living on his own, there is not much you can do... except learn to detach. Learn to let go of some of the pain, somehow. Join a mental health support group, find time for yourself, maintain relationships with family and friends you enjoy and can relax with. Read the articles on this board on detachment. There are some very useful, as well as beautifully written pieces. Easier said than done, I know. Our laws are typically written to protect victims, not criminals. If your son has written bad checks, he is considered a criminal. Our system has a few, and I emphasize, [I]few[/I], safeguards in place for disabled or mentally challenged adults, but you really have to fight for them. I just read a report that something like only 15% of those in jail/prison are labeled as needing medications, and of those, fewer than 50% actually get them. That's just one example. :( Not to make you more depressed, but just to say, it is an institutional problem. They're not targeting or eliminating your son deliberately. There are just too many cases to thoroughly follow through. I'm glad you found us here, but so sorry you had to. [/QUOTE]
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My difficult child is in jail
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