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My difficult child-senses are tingling...
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 401328" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>It sure sounds like something is going on. I don't think it is a failure to communicate. I am sure he heard you and understood you when you said he couldn't go out with the girl. I think when they get like this their brains get greased with something and they hear the info but it just doesn't stick in there long enough to have any impact. Goes in one ear and out somewhere else faster than Road Runner getting out from under on of Wiley Coyote's traps. While not manic, Wiz would get like this sometimes. I thin would go back to the dessert method of attention getting. I did not give him dessert, when I needed him to pay attention to me I would use a semi-urgent voice and say "chocolate pudding" or "chocolate chip cookies" or the like. Makes my kids stop anything ans swivel that head toward me with that laser gaze on the chance that just maaaaaaybe I might be handing that out. Only in the first few months of this did I ever give them the dessert at this time. After giving them the dessert maybe three times a month for the first 2-3 months, while still using that at other times with no food to get their attention, it seems to be wired into them that this just might be good without any real expectations. Anyway, it has worked for years for us. It seems to create a small clear spot in the grease that keeps everything from sticking in the brain.</p><p> </p><p>After that, I say what I want them to know and have them tell me what I meant with what I just said. Active listening is a technique I learned in a speech class in college. You say something to someone and then ask them to tell you what they think you meant. That gives it another chance to be absorbed into the brain and it means they must think about it because just regurgitating what you said word for word isn't enough. Ask him to tell you what he thinks your rules means you will do if he goes ahead and arranges for the girl to go to the movie, or he brings a kid over on the spur of the moment with-telling and not asking? Do this as part of the conversation whenever possible, esp when his brain is greased like a cliff in a cartoon strip.</p><p> </p><p>This isn't going to fix it, but it can give the info a chance to sink in. It also takes away any belief in the right to whine or fuss at you when he goes ahead and does whatever it is anyway.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 401328, member: 1233"] It sure sounds like something is going on. I don't think it is a failure to communicate. I am sure he heard you and understood you when you said he couldn't go out with the girl. I think when they get like this their brains get greased with something and they hear the info but it just doesn't stick in there long enough to have any impact. Goes in one ear and out somewhere else faster than Road Runner getting out from under on of Wiley Coyote's traps. While not manic, Wiz would get like this sometimes. I thin would go back to the dessert method of attention getting. I did not give him dessert, when I needed him to pay attention to me I would use a semi-urgent voice and say "chocolate pudding" or "chocolate chip cookies" or the like. Makes my kids stop anything ans swivel that head toward me with that laser gaze on the chance that just maaaaaaybe I might be handing that out. Only in the first few months of this did I ever give them the dessert at this time. After giving them the dessert maybe three times a month for the first 2-3 months, while still using that at other times with no food to get their attention, it seems to be wired into them that this just might be good without any real expectations. Anyway, it has worked for years for us. It seems to create a small clear spot in the grease that keeps everything from sticking in the brain. After that, I say what I want them to know and have them tell me what I meant with what I just said. Active listening is a technique I learned in a speech class in college. You say something to someone and then ask them to tell you what they think you meant. That gives it another chance to be absorbed into the brain and it means they must think about it because just regurgitating what you said word for word isn't enough. Ask him to tell you what he thinks your rules means you will do if he goes ahead and arranges for the girl to go to the movie, or he brings a kid over on the spur of the moment with-telling and not asking? Do this as part of the conversation whenever possible, esp when his brain is greased like a cliff in a cartoon strip. This isn't going to fix it, but it can give the info a chance to sink in. It also takes away any belief in the right to whine or fuss at you when he goes ahead and does whatever it is anyway. [/QUOTE]
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My difficult child-senses are tingling...
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