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my family is in crisis, 17 and 19 year old sons are going down a really bad path!
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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 597196" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>Welcome, fedup. :O)</p><p></p><p>Sometimes, it helps me to remember that healing takes time. You and your family have taken the first steps. You are acknowledging the nature of the problems. That is so important. We can expect that there will be acting out and figuring out, blaming and forgiving and giving up and coming back. You are all working through coming into balance as a family again. Though it probably doesn't look like it right now, you are making progress. The good news is that you know, now, how your sons have been dealing with the stress of what happened to you. This information is priceless. It will help you know how to begin helping your children to come back. You have been very honest about how all this came to be. That tells me that you are strong enough, and committed enough, to do what it takes, over as long a time as it takes, to heal both yourself and your sons, and to bring your family back.</p><p></p><p>Everything, everything that means anything real in this world, takes time.</p><p></p><p>That you have been ill yourself does not mean that you don't know how to parent your boys. It would be bad parenting to teach them that it is okay to go a wrong way.</p><p></p><p>Your sons are making mistakes, right now, but that is not who they are. Rightfully, you expect better for and from them than this. Whatever you have had to battle, your sons need to be reminded that to make bad choices themselves in response is not a good answer.</p><p></p><p>It helps to know that someone who understands is listening. This site is a safe place to ask questions, to wonder what to try next, to vent our frustrations, to share the pain of our losses, and to celebrate the pleasure of it when something good happens. I am so glad you found us. I hope you will post often.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p><p></p><p>P.S. My own daughter has gone through something similar to your situation, fedup. I know the pain and confusion, the desperate determination to make it all right, the horror of relapsing, the impossibility of facing what happened. I am so sorry this happened to you, and to your family. Now that you are back, things will get better.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 597196, member: 1721"] Welcome, fedup. :O) Sometimes, it helps me to remember that healing takes time. You and your family have taken the first steps. You are acknowledging the nature of the problems. That is so important. We can expect that there will be acting out and figuring out, blaming and forgiving and giving up and coming back. You are all working through coming into balance as a family again. Though it probably doesn't look like it right now, you are making progress. The good news is that you know, now, how your sons have been dealing with the stress of what happened to you. This information is priceless. It will help you know how to begin helping your children to come back. You have been very honest about how all this came to be. That tells me that you are strong enough, and committed enough, to do what it takes, over as long a time as it takes, to heal both yourself and your sons, and to bring your family back. Everything, everything that means anything real in this world, takes time. That you have been ill yourself does not mean that you don't know how to parent your boys. It would be bad parenting to teach them that it is okay to go a wrong way. Your sons are making mistakes, right now, but that is not who they are. Rightfully, you expect better for and from them than this. Whatever you have had to battle, your sons need to be reminded that to make bad choices themselves in response is not a good answer. It helps to know that someone who understands is listening. This site is a safe place to ask questions, to wonder what to try next, to vent our frustrations, to share the pain of our losses, and to celebrate the pleasure of it when something good happens. I am so glad you found us. I hope you will post often. Barbara P.S. My own daughter has gone through something similar to your situation, fedup. I know the pain and confusion, the desperate determination to make it all right, the horror of relapsing, the impossibility of facing what happened. I am so sorry this happened to you, and to your family. Now that you are back, things will get better. [/QUOTE]
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my family is in crisis, 17 and 19 year old sons are going down a really bad path!
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