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Substance Abuse
MY FIRST POST
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<blockquote data-quote="Sunlight" data-source="post: 53293" data-attributes="member: 97"><p>HI there! I want to say dont get too discouraged. she is going to learn that you mean what you say. in order for her to get better, you are going to stick to your guns about her promises. if not, she can choose her own lifestyle. </p><p></p><p>having said that, I can say it is so hard to let go. I threw my son out 4 of more times before I could begin to rebuild our relationship, and only when he is helping himself would I help him. he truly went worse and worse from age 18 til 21. he did what he wanted when he wanted and got more trouble, more drugs and made me a grandma.</p><p></p><p>he called me on his 21st BD and was at his bottom. he was in Reno, homeless, hungry and about to take his life with an overdose. I had to tell him I thought he should come home, face the music (which meant jail). he did. that was 3 yrs ago. in the past 9 months he has not missed work, and last week for the first time was allowed to have his son with him for the whole week unsupervised by me. </p><p></p><p>he is not perfect and never will be. he has another child on the way it seems...to someone he doesnt even know much. but.....he is drug free. he still drinks. a slow process as we watch their lives unfold.</p><p>have you read these two books?? they really helped me when I was in the dumps and trying to figure out the madness.</p><p></p><p>boundaries by townsend and cloud</p><p></p><p>codependent no more by melody beattie</p><p></p><p>both free to borrow at the library.</p><p></p><p>as much as this part of parenting hurts, you are loving her to the extreme by holding her to a higher standard. God bless.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sunlight, post: 53293, member: 97"] HI there! I want to say dont get too discouraged. she is going to learn that you mean what you say. in order for her to get better, you are going to stick to your guns about her promises. if not, she can choose her own lifestyle. having said that, I can say it is so hard to let go. I threw my son out 4 of more times before I could begin to rebuild our relationship, and only when he is helping himself would I help him. he truly went worse and worse from age 18 til 21. he did what he wanted when he wanted and got more trouble, more drugs and made me a grandma. he called me on his 21st BD and was at his bottom. he was in Reno, homeless, hungry and about to take his life with an overdose. I had to tell him I thought he should come home, face the music (which meant jail). he did. that was 3 yrs ago. in the past 9 months he has not missed work, and last week for the first time was allowed to have his son with him for the whole week unsupervised by me. he is not perfect and never will be. he has another child on the way it seems...to someone he doesnt even know much. but.....he is drug free. he still drinks. a slow process as we watch their lives unfold. have you read these two books?? they really helped me when I was in the dumps and trying to figure out the madness. boundaries by townsend and cloud codependent no more by melody beattie both free to borrow at the library. as much as this part of parenting hurts, you are loving her to the extreme by holding her to a higher standard. God bless. [/QUOTE]
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