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My friends and their "perfect children" are making me jealous!
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiapet" data-source="post: 518382" data-attributes="member: 455"><p>CB - I can relate. I don't think you are wrong. It is very hard to feel for others when we have kids like ours. I do have 3 of my own. It is very hard because life isn't the same for us, it never has been and probably never will be. Even my oldest difficult child/easy child who more closely resembles one of the "others" still doesn't quite fit it because she does difficult child things and has. I've just learned to accept it over time. That life won't ever be "like theirs" and so I go on about my own life. I can <em>smile</em> for them and when necessary verbally acknowledge when I have to for them but I try to stear clear otherwise of situations where it would be required.</p><p></p><p>Here on the board I would be happy to acknowledge accomplishments because <em>all</em> accomplishments with our kids no matter how small are something to celebrate, as I'm sure you know or will come to know if you haven't. I think it's why most of us have come here. It's also why we can vent here when we feel the frustrations, like you have expressed above. Most, if not all, of us have been there and probably have felt what you have felt. Sometimes it stings more then others depending on how deep we are in the trenches with our own difficult child's troubles at the time.</p><p></p><p>So it's ok to accept your difficult children for who they are now and in the future. Look at the small things if that's all you have at the moment or in the future. Appreciate them. All of them. My middle difficult child is my worst at any given time, trust me, and just the other day I was driving in the car with her and I sat there thinking I would never want her social nature (or social butterfly) happiness taken away. She tends to always smile and is friendly to everyone. Though it can be a problem as it is intrusive, I'd much rather her be that way then sullen, angry, aggressive, etc.</p><p></p><p>So find those small things (or big things) that are particular to your difficult children and celibrate them and remind yourself what is special about <em>your</em> child! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiapet, post: 518382, member: 455"] CB - I can relate. I don't think you are wrong. It is very hard to feel for others when we have kids like ours. I do have 3 of my own. It is very hard because life isn't the same for us, it never has been and probably never will be. Even my oldest difficult child/easy child who more closely resembles one of the "others" still doesn't quite fit it because she does difficult child things and has. I've just learned to accept it over time. That life won't ever be "like theirs" and so I go on about my own life. I can [I]smile[/I] for them and when necessary verbally acknowledge when I have to for them but I try to stear clear otherwise of situations where it would be required. Here on the board I would be happy to acknowledge accomplishments because [I]all[/I] accomplishments with our kids no matter how small are something to celebrate, as I'm sure you know or will come to know if you haven't. I think it's why most of us have come here. It's also why we can vent here when we feel the frustrations, like you have expressed above. Most, if not all, of us have been there and probably have felt what you have felt. Sometimes it stings more then others depending on how deep we are in the trenches with our own difficult child's troubles at the time. So it's ok to accept your difficult children for who they are now and in the future. Look at the small things if that's all you have at the moment or in the future. Appreciate them. All of them. My middle difficult child is my worst at any given time, trust me, and just the other day I was driving in the car with her and I sat there thinking I would never want her social nature (or social butterfly) happiness taken away. She tends to always smile and is friendly to everyone. Though it can be a problem as it is intrusive, I'd much rather her be that way then sullen, angry, aggressive, etc. So find those small things (or big things) that are particular to your difficult children and celibrate them and remind yourself what is special about [I]your[/I] child! :) [/QUOTE]
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My friends and their "perfect children" are making me jealous!
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