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Substance Abuse
My h stays angry and upset about our difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 535267"><p>PV, </p><p></p><p>I really think you should suggest to h that you go together for marriage counselling... that the issues with your son are becoming between you and together you need to figure this out. I was seeing a therapist for a while to deal with my feelings around difficult child and the need to let go.... and I brought my husband with me a few times because we were not totally on the same page and it helped.</p><p></p><p>The thing that kind of concerns me is it does sound like your priority is your son over your marriage and if I was your h this would really bother me. I totally understand and support you in wanting to support your son in his recovery and healing... but you cannot do it for him. He has to do it. You should not give up your marraige to save your son, because first you can't save your son he has to do it, and you don't want to lose your marriage in the process. That will hurt you and not help your son. </p><p></p><p>I got to the point for a while where my h was sort of avoiding confrontation with my difficult child and so enabling him a lot... my son was still living at home... and I started to consider getting an apartment and taking my daughter with me. Of course it never came to that and it did make my h realize he needed to take a stand and get on the same page with me... which he did.</p><p></p><p>I really hope your h would consider going to therapy with you to "help you and your marraige " even though in the end it would help him.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 535267"] PV, I really think you should suggest to h that you go together for marriage counselling... that the issues with your son are becoming between you and together you need to figure this out. I was seeing a therapist for a while to deal with my feelings around difficult child and the need to let go.... and I brought my husband with me a few times because we were not totally on the same page and it helped. The thing that kind of concerns me is it does sound like your priority is your son over your marriage and if I was your h this would really bother me. I totally understand and support you in wanting to support your son in his recovery and healing... but you cannot do it for him. He has to do it. You should not give up your marraige to save your son, because first you can't save your son he has to do it, and you don't want to lose your marriage in the process. That will hurt you and not help your son. I got to the point for a while where my h was sort of avoiding confrontation with my difficult child and so enabling him a lot... my son was still living at home... and I started to consider getting an apartment and taking my daughter with me. Of course it never came to that and it did make my h realize he needed to take a stand and get on the same page with me... which he did. I really hope your h would consider going to therapy with you to "help you and your marraige " even though in the end it would help him. TL [/QUOTE]
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My h stays angry and upset about our difficult child
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