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Substance Abuse
My h stays angry and upset about our difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 535437" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>pinevalley, </p><p>I did not read through all of the responses but read your initial post and just wanted you to know that OH YA this makes perfect sense to me!!!</p><p></p><p>My husband would absolutely NOT visit oldest difficult child when he went to prison until he had been in over a year. During that year I DID visit oldest difficult child and wrote him all the time. I went to AA and Al Anon and got support for myself. husband refused. husband was so incredibly hurt and angry...Had strong sense of being betrayed as Oldest difficult child had stolen over 10K worth of computer equip from one of husband's clients (a law firm). Eventually...we did lose that client and it cost us dearly in monthly income. </p><p></p><p>husband had been Oldest difficult child's football coach in younger years. Oldest difficult child had been the quarterback. They were a "team" once upon a time. And...they are BOTH so much alike! </p><p></p><p>Anyway, after all of the years of investment into our "golden child" who seemed to have it all going for him...Good looking, very intelligent, charasmatic, outgoing, etc...It looked like oldest difficult child had thrown it all away and husband just could not deal with well with the disappointment of it all. Of all the years of investment into this child. </p><p></p><p>But, I say all that to say this...It DID pay off. Oldest difficult child is a hardworking, SOBER, family man today. He has high standards of living, of taking care of himself and his family. He is excelling...FINALLY. </p><p>And...LOL, he is working for husband again. And doing an excellent Job!!!</p><p></p><p>We have to give these husband's of ours time to grieve and heal and deal with their relationship with our difficult child's son's seperate from our own. I understand how alone you must be feeling though in your pursuit to be there for your difficult child right now. How you wish your husband would show some hope and love toward your difficult child right now. </p><p>But...I think it will happen sooner or later. Just have to give husband the space and time he needs to let go of his anger and forgive and try again. </p><p></p><p>I do understand as I have been there done that. </p><p>You are not alone with this here on the board. </p><p>Hugs and love, </p><p>LMS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 535437, member: 3305"] pinevalley, I did not read through all of the responses but read your initial post and just wanted you to know that OH YA this makes perfect sense to me!!! My husband would absolutely NOT visit oldest difficult child when he went to prison until he had been in over a year. During that year I DID visit oldest difficult child and wrote him all the time. I went to AA and Al Anon and got support for myself. husband refused. husband was so incredibly hurt and angry...Had strong sense of being betrayed as Oldest difficult child had stolen over 10K worth of computer equip from one of husband's clients (a law firm). Eventually...we did lose that client and it cost us dearly in monthly income. husband had been Oldest difficult child's football coach in younger years. Oldest difficult child had been the quarterback. They were a "team" once upon a time. And...they are BOTH so much alike! Anyway, after all of the years of investment into our "golden child" who seemed to have it all going for him...Good looking, very intelligent, charasmatic, outgoing, etc...It looked like oldest difficult child had thrown it all away and husband just could not deal with well with the disappointment of it all. Of all the years of investment into this child. But, I say all that to say this...It DID pay off. Oldest difficult child is a hardworking, SOBER, family man today. He has high standards of living, of taking care of himself and his family. He is excelling...FINALLY. And...LOL, he is working for husband again. And doing an excellent Job!!! We have to give these husband's of ours time to grieve and heal and deal with their relationship with our difficult child's son's seperate from our own. I understand how alone you must be feeling though in your pursuit to be there for your difficult child right now. How you wish your husband would show some hope and love toward your difficult child right now. But...I think it will happen sooner or later. Just have to give husband the space and time he needs to let go of his anger and forgive and try again. I do understand as I have been there done that. You are not alone with this here on the board. Hugs and love, LMS [/QUOTE]
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My h stays angry and upset about our difficult child
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