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My heart is breaking ... have to call police
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<blockquote data-quote="GoingNorth" data-source="post: 671919" data-attributes="member: 1963"><p>I don't so much worry about the parent's not caring as much as I am appalled at the reasoning that one could be willing to cause another family quite a lot of distress, if actually destory H's homelife, if not H herself, in order to protect her son from the consequences of his own bad decisions.</p><p></p><p>If her parents are very religious,the best case scenario is that H will be sent to relatives in the "Old country" to be forced into a marriage. That's the best case scenario. The worst case scenario doesn't bear thinking about.</p><p></p><p>If Terry's son had any decency, he would stay well away from H unless her father had given HIM permission to be with her. I truly doubt that Terry's son has spoken with H's father about their relationship.</p><p></p><p>Terry's got to accept the fact that at this point, her son isn't a very nice person. He drinks. He uses drugs.He has had unprotected sex and sired a child. He is leading on the mother of that child. Meanwhile, he is involved iwth another young woman who's religion forbids that involvment and who's involvement with him puts her at grave risk of emotional if not physical risk at the hands of her family, with a forced marriage being the least of it.</p><p></p><p>The ONLY way that Terry's son has a chance of becoming a good and functional member of society is for him io suffer the consequences of ALL his behavior without his parents rushing in to protect him, especially Terry, who has established a long pattern of doing so.</p><p></p><p>Terry, I wish you the best of luck in detaching from your son.I realize, especially with the patterns that have been set over so many years, that detaching will be extremely painful for you, especially as you have to stop using his mental and developmental difficulties as excuses for his behavior.</p><p></p><p>If he doesn't know right from wrong,he's a psycopath. I don't think he is. I just don't think he's yet hit consequences that hurt badly enough and that stuck no matter how much he whined and threatened.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="GoingNorth, post: 671919, member: 1963"] I don't so much worry about the parent's not caring as much as I am appalled at the reasoning that one could be willing to cause another family quite a lot of distress, if actually destory H's homelife, if not H herself, in order to protect her son from the consequences of his own bad decisions. If her parents are very religious,the best case scenario is that H will be sent to relatives in the "Old country" to be forced into a marriage. That's the best case scenario. The worst case scenario doesn't bear thinking about. If Terry's son had any decency, he would stay well away from H unless her father had given HIM permission to be with her. I truly doubt that Terry's son has spoken with H's father about their relationship. Terry's got to accept the fact that at this point, her son isn't a very nice person. He drinks. He uses drugs.He has had unprotected sex and sired a child. He is leading on the mother of that child. Meanwhile, he is involved iwth another young woman who's religion forbids that involvment and who's involvement with him puts her at grave risk of emotional if not physical risk at the hands of her family, with a forced marriage being the least of it. The ONLY way that Terry's son has a chance of becoming a good and functional member of society is for him io suffer the consequences of ALL his behavior without his parents rushing in to protect him, especially Terry, who has established a long pattern of doing so. Terry, I wish you the best of luck in detaching from your son.I realize, especially with the patterns that have been set over so many years, that detaching will be extremely painful for you, especially as you have to stop using his mental and developmental difficulties as excuses for his behavior. If he doesn't know right from wrong,he's a psycopath. I don't think he is. I just don't think he's yet hit consequences that hurt badly enough and that stuck no matter how much he whined and threatened. [/QUOTE]
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