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My husband and I feeling we are being held hostage by our homeless son.
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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 748632" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>Welcome Astrea. I am a fairly new member myself. I too have as it sounds, many similar issues as you. However, as cold hearted as it may sound about 1 1/2 yrs. ago when I divorced my alcoholic husband of 30 yrs.I also opted no to allow either of my grown sons (30 and 26) to come to my home. They have appeared outside my home and called me in the middle of a snow storm, no less, to let them in, but I have refused them entry. This has gone against every grain of my being to not let them in but they don't work, verbally abuse me and both live in their used vehicles (I bought them) doing nothing all day but blaming me for their miserable lives. I am not winning any medals here but I am thankful God has given me the strength to keep this resolve to not let them in. Whenever, I have "moments" where they are being intermittently nice to me I start to wonder if I'm doing the right thing. But in my heart of hearts I know I am. They would never leave my apartment and cause me more agonizing pain than I'm already going through with them. The last 10+ years when we were all home before the divorce, they played video games and promised us they'd get jobs every time we nagged at them. Nothing has changed "EXCEPT" me. I found through Al anon that this is what we work towards. Be the change in the situation you want because honestly that's all that we can do. We cannot change "them".</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 748632, member: 23405"] Welcome Astrea. I am a fairly new member myself. I too have as it sounds, many similar issues as you. However, as cold hearted as it may sound about 1 1/2 yrs. ago when I divorced my alcoholic husband of 30 yrs.I also opted no to allow either of my grown sons (30 and 26) to come to my home. They have appeared outside my home and called me in the middle of a snow storm, no less, to let them in, but I have refused them entry. This has gone against every grain of my being to not let them in but they don't work, verbally abuse me and both live in their used vehicles (I bought them) doing nothing all day but blaming me for their miserable lives. I am not winning any medals here but I am thankful God has given me the strength to keep this resolve to not let them in. Whenever, I have "moments" where they are being intermittently nice to me I start to wonder if I'm doing the right thing. But in my heart of hearts I know I am. They would never leave my apartment and cause me more agonizing pain than I'm already going through with them. The last 10+ years when we were all home before the divorce, they played video games and promised us they'd get jobs every time we nagged at them. Nothing has changed "EXCEPT" me. I found through Al anon that this is what we work towards. Be the change in the situation you want because honestly that's all that we can do. We cannot change "them". [/QUOTE]
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My husband and I feeling we are being held hostage by our homeless son.
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