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MY husband isn't supportive of the issues with difficult child...feel alone...
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<blockquote data-quote="barneysmom" data-source="post: 461815" data-attributes="member: 1872"><p>IzzysMa,</p><p></p><p>You've got some good advice.</p><p></p><p>Nothing against dads or male SO's (significant others), but I would have to say that in general, even say up to 90% of dads don't get it regarding special needs kids, and take a long time doing so. (I don't have any statistics for this figure, just my rough guess after 56 years of life, 31 of them married, and after talking to probably a couple hundred moms).</p><p></p><p>I think as someone already pointed out, many men like to fix things quickly and logically -- well I guess I should make this from my own experience. My husband likes a quick and logical fix, and doesn't like to think about all the emotional/behavioral ins and outs. That's not how he's wired. He became a good student though, at my insistence. </p><p></p><p>I think when your husband comes home he is tired and just wants to relax, as someone mentioned. Lots of people try yelling to shut the problem down fast. That's a natural response. Doesn't work though.</p><p></p><p>Maybe you and husband could work out a routine for the weekend (ahead of time). Like, when he's on duty and when you're on duty with your daughter, and then some time for you guys together. In other words you could set some boundaries. In my experience if I didn't set boundaries I would go under (it took me a long time to realize this). You could plan meals together and the whole thing.</p><p></p><p>Also when my husband traveled, which he still does occasionally for 1-2 weeks at a time, I would try to keep things nice and light for him on the phone. Now if it hits the fan while he's gone, I email him and "bring him up to speed" (in other words, vent and rant). Or if you're having a good day, you could write him about that. Anything you want. But maybe he could be kept in the loop. You guys will have to learn together how you want to set up your family, in a way that you feel comfortable.</p><p></p><p>Do you have any info he could read about your daughter's behavior? Articles, I mean? So he could educate himself. My husband responded pretty well to that, and felt more empowered with the info.</p><p></p><p>Just some thoughts.</p><p></p><p>Good luck, keep posting</p><p></p><p>Jo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="barneysmom, post: 461815, member: 1872"] IzzysMa, You've got some good advice. Nothing against dads or male SO's (significant others), but I would have to say that in general, even say up to 90% of dads don't get it regarding special needs kids, and take a long time doing so. (I don't have any statistics for this figure, just my rough guess after 56 years of life, 31 of them married, and after talking to probably a couple hundred moms). I think as someone already pointed out, many men like to fix things quickly and logically -- well I guess I should make this from my own experience. My husband likes a quick and logical fix, and doesn't like to think about all the emotional/behavioral ins and outs. That's not how he's wired. He became a good student though, at my insistence. I think when your husband comes home he is tired and just wants to relax, as someone mentioned. Lots of people try yelling to shut the problem down fast. That's a natural response. Doesn't work though. Maybe you and husband could work out a routine for the weekend (ahead of time). Like, when he's on duty and when you're on duty with your daughter, and then some time for you guys together. In other words you could set some boundaries. In my experience if I didn't set boundaries I would go under (it took me a long time to realize this). You could plan meals together and the whole thing. Also when my husband traveled, which he still does occasionally for 1-2 weeks at a time, I would try to keep things nice and light for him on the phone. Now if it hits the fan while he's gone, I email him and "bring him up to speed" (in other words, vent and rant). Or if you're having a good day, you could write him about that. Anything you want. But maybe he could be kept in the loop. You guys will have to learn together how you want to set up your family, in a way that you feel comfortable. Do you have any info he could read about your daughter's behavior? Articles, I mean? So he could educate himself. My husband responded pretty well to that, and felt more empowered with the info. Just some thoughts. Good luck, keep posting Jo [/QUOTE]
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MY husband isn't supportive of the issues with difficult child...feel alone...
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