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My husband passed from Covid, complications ensue. Help...
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 759421" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear Tish</p><p></p><p>I find myself agreeing with overcome mom. Imagine how your son must be suffering. He is disoriented and he is defensive. He must be trying to get his bearings, and in so doing, overstepping boundaries. My son is obtuse in the exact same way. Absolutely unable and unwilling to see my point of view. Defensive about what I ask him to do. Seemingly uncaring for my welfare.</p><p></p><p>The thing is your son has just lost one parent. He must also be terrified that you're vulnerable. He may not be aware of what he is doing. Remember before he was able to readjust his behavior and he actually showed insight. You and he were able to work it out.</p><p></p><p>I think I was wrong in my post above. I think that you may feel you need your son with you, for a little bit more time. Before he was able to hear you--when you first posted. He was able to be self reflective. Maybe this needs to be re-thought. Oh. Believe me. I know I would want him to leave. But you're ambivalent. It's not that you are a people pleaser. It is that you are genuinely torn, I think.</p><p></p><p>Is there a way to sit down with your son and cry together; hold each other; be together for a little while? Giving, getting comfort. His leaving is most likely the right thing to happen, sooner or later. But right now what might be going on is a whole lot of suffering and pain. Remember Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'hara in Gone With The Wind when Bonnie died in the accident with the horse? And Rhett and Scarlett were both so devastated that they couldn't grieve together? The marriage already had fallen apart but they needed each other and they were so vulnerable that they couldn't console each other. Maybe there is some of this happening in a mother/son way.</p><p></p><p>I am glad you are here Tish. With us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 759421, member: 18958"] Dear Tish I find myself agreeing with overcome mom. Imagine how your son must be suffering. He is disoriented and he is defensive. He must be trying to get his bearings, and in so doing, overstepping boundaries. My son is obtuse in the exact same way. Absolutely unable and unwilling to see my point of view. Defensive about what I ask him to do. Seemingly uncaring for my welfare. The thing is your son has just lost one parent. He must also be terrified that you're vulnerable. He may not be aware of what he is doing. Remember before he was able to readjust his behavior and he actually showed insight. You and he were able to work it out. I think I was wrong in my post above. I think that you may feel you need your son with you, for a little bit more time. Before he was able to hear you--when you first posted. He was able to be self reflective. Maybe this needs to be re-thought. Oh. Believe me. I know I would want him to leave. But you're ambivalent. It's not that you are a people pleaser. It is that you are genuinely torn, I think. Is there a way to sit down with your son and cry together; hold each other; be together for a little while? Giving, getting comfort. His leaving is most likely the right thing to happen, sooner or later. But right now what might be going on is a whole lot of suffering and pain. Remember Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'hara in Gone With The Wind when Bonnie died in the accident with the horse? And Rhett and Scarlett were both so devastated that they couldn't grieve together? The marriage already had fallen apart but they needed each other and they were so vulnerable that they couldn't console each other. Maybe there is some of this happening in a mother/son way. I am glad you are here Tish. With us. [/QUOTE]
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My husband passed from Covid, complications ensue. Help...
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