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<blockquote data-quote="bonkers" data-source="post: 24920" data-attributes="member: 3521"><p>Hi - I am a newbie like you but.. Just some thoughts....</p><p></p><p>First VERY sorry you are going through this. </p><p></p><p>Second, My difficult child was becoming EXTREAMLY violent, and there was a concern that my SO would not be able to physically restrain him when he would attempt to hurt her or act in rash unsafe ways.. We took a rather unconventional approach that helps to keep our home for the most part non-physical... </p><p></p><p>We turned his room into a safe room... We have literally taken EVERYTHING out of his room that he can use as a weapon or hurt himself with. We also installed a lock on his door (I hollowed out one of the legs on his bed and put a spare key in there in case he gets cleaver...) Also put an outside lock on his window... Extreme? YES.. In the 6 months this has been in place SO has only had to use it twice for no more then a ½ hour each time... The procedure is to Put difficult child in room go outside to the window latch and return to hall way outside of his room wait and listen, as soon as he is calm enough or SO is strong enough to hold him if necessary the door is unlocked and reopened. All toys books etc are kept in the office and family room... I even went so far as to <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> down the vents and put screws in the back of his dresser drawers to keep him from using them as weapons... Again this is NOT a normal method or one I would consider except in EXTREAME safety situations... He beat my SO up with a chair, tossed it through a window, pelted her with apples and took off running down the street, the day before I decided to do this (The Chair was for is desk in his room). BIG points here are that he is not left "ALONE" as SO is in the hall - difficult child just does not know it - so he does not get the satisfaction of continuing to engage, giving him the chance to calm down... This is NOT used as a punishment, but a safety precaution.. This is also ILLEAGAL in many states ( a lock on the outside of a Childs door... ) We actually got the OK from our adoption worker to do this, knowing it would not be abused.</p><p></p><p>Like I said unconventional and could be abused (which is why many stated have laws against it) But a thought from my world. difficult child also FULLY understands the purpose of it, and does not hold any fears of the door getting locked he knows it has and will only happen to keep him safe for as long as necessary how long is his choice. </p><p></p><p>Again these are my thoughts and my experiances.. but as you know I too am a newbie, this has helped in some ways for us - but gosh we have along way to go yet... </p><p></p><p>Take care and be SAFE!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="bonkers, post: 24920, member: 3521"] Hi - I am a newbie like you but.. Just some thoughts.... First VERY sorry you are going through this. Second, My difficult child was becoming EXTREAMLY violent, and there was a concern that my SO would not be able to physically restrain him when he would attempt to hurt her or act in rash unsafe ways.. We took a rather unconventional approach that helps to keep our home for the most part non-physical... We turned his room into a safe room... We have literally taken EVERYTHING out of his room that he can use as a weapon or hurt himself with. We also installed a lock on his door (I hollowed out one of the legs on his bed and put a spare key in there in case he gets cleaver...) Also put an outside lock on his window... Extreme? YES.. In the 6 months this has been in place SO has only had to use it twice for no more then a ½ hour each time... The procedure is to Put difficult child in room go outside to the window latch and return to hall way outside of his room wait and listen, as soon as he is calm enough or SO is strong enough to hold him if necessary the door is unlocked and reopened. All toys books etc are kept in the office and family room... I even went so far as to :censored: down the vents and put screws in the back of his dresser drawers to keep him from using them as weapons... Again this is NOT a normal method or one I would consider except in EXTREAME safety situations... He beat my SO up with a chair, tossed it through a window, pelted her with apples and took off running down the street, the day before I decided to do this (The Chair was for is desk in his room). BIG points here are that he is not left "ALONE" as SO is in the hall - difficult child just does not know it - so he does not get the satisfaction of continuing to engage, giving him the chance to calm down... This is NOT used as a punishment, but a safety precaution.. This is also ILLEAGAL in many states ( a lock on the outside of a Childs door... ) We actually got the OK from our adoption worker to do this, knowing it would not be abused. Like I said unconventional and could be abused (which is why many stated have laws against it) But a thought from my world. difficult child also FULLY understands the purpose of it, and does not hold any fears of the door getting locked he knows it has and will only happen to keep him safe for as long as necessary how long is his choice. Again these are my thoughts and my experiances.. but as you know I too am a newbie, this has helped in some ways for us - but gosh we have along way to go yet... Take care and be SAFE! [/QUOTE]
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