Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
My kid is not a dog or a rat
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 37939" data-attributes="member: 3"><p><span style='font-size: 11pt'>It's a good article to help us put words to our thoughts. I agree with a lot of it. I also think that we have to remind ourselves that we must still guide and channel our children in the right direction. Expectations of a child that are impossible to achieve just set them up for failure and frustration. (our attempt at potty training from the age of 4yrs old on through 8 or 9) He was not able to master that developmental step no matter how hard we tried, he tried or the professionals tried. I gave up the fight, which it eventually became and let it go. Eventually, I helped guide him to proper behavior but he had to be ready to do it. </p><p>The problem with some articles like this is that I feel like it's all or nothing. There are circumstances where behavior modification is a good and effective way to go but it does require a parent to understand that not all kids are prepared to master that particular skill. </p><p>Understanding their limitations, frustrations and "stuck" thoughts does seem to help my difficult child to deal with it. He has a really crappy, dirty job. He hates it. Just by agreeing with him that it is a crappy job has allowed him to relax and understand that this is just temporary. If he can prove to be reliable and hard working then he may be able to find something a little more to his liking. I let him vent and allow him to dislike it, as long as he shows up and does his job. </p><p>For someone like me who tends toward authoritarian, it requires effort on my part to think things through until I understand the desired behavior and the steps leading up to it. No one wants submissiveness but I also don't want an out of control child/adult that must be subdued when frustrated. </p><p>Thanks Allen</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 37939, member: 3"] <span style='font-size: 11pt'>It's a good article to help us put words to our thoughts. I agree with a lot of it. I also think that we have to remind ourselves that we must still guide and channel our children in the right direction. Expectations of a child that are impossible to achieve just set them up for failure and frustration. (our attempt at potty training from the age of 4yrs old on through 8 or 9) He was not able to master that developmental step no matter how hard we tried, he tried or the professionals tried. I gave up the fight, which it eventually became and let it go. Eventually, I helped guide him to proper behavior but he had to be ready to do it. The problem with some articles like this is that I feel like it's all or nothing. There are circumstances where behavior modification is a good and effective way to go but it does require a parent to understand that not all kids are prepared to master that particular skill. Understanding their limitations, frustrations and "stuck" thoughts does seem to help my difficult child to deal with it. He has a really crappy, dirty job. He hates it. Just by agreeing with him that it is a crappy job has allowed him to relax and understand that this is just temporary. If he can prove to be reliable and hard working then he may be able to find something a little more to his liking. I let him vent and allow him to dislike it, as long as he shows up and does his job. For someone like me who tends toward authoritarian, it requires effort on my part to think things through until I understand the desired behavior and the steps leading up to it. No one wants submissiveness but I also don't want an out of control child/adult that must be subdued when frustrated. Thanks Allen</span> [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
My kid is not a dog or a rat
Top