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My kids' stepmom says she hates them.
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 567658" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>I'm going to play devil's advocate here. (I'm not taking sides, just giving you another way to look at this)</p><p></p><p>You and ex have a volatile relationship. Ex has threatened to sue for custody. Ex is married to a woman the kids don't like. Ex, we also know makes excuses to not see the kids ect. </p><p></p><p>This is enough fuel for any child, difficult child or easy child, to lie (or exaggerate) for a wide variety of reasons. 1. Mad at dad (could be a long list of reasons there alone) 2. Mad at step mom (same thing, many may not even be personal 3. Mad and fed up with the whole situation. I could actually go on, but I think you get the idea. Doesn't matter whether the child is prone to lying or not. Kids often don't have adequate communication tools to voice their opinions and feelings and they tend to do it in other ways. </p><p></p><p>I'm not saying step mom is a gem. I don't know that she is or isn't. If she said that it was over the line.......but even in your description of what happened it sounds as if it was said in anger. And we all know people tend to say things they don't really mean in anger. </p><p></p><p>Having been there done that with the teen years, I'd say you've gotten a major watered down version, or at the least slanted toward a teen's point of view......which we know doesn't always mesh with reality, even with a easy child. Sounds to me like something triggered that outburst. Could be the kids. Could be your ex........attitude with his kids whatever......could be a combination. </p><p></p><p>I don't know how many times during the teen years where I've clearly stated I've hated something one of my kids have done and they've sworn for months that I said I hated them. Used to irk me no end, but that can be part of the typical teen drama. And not a pleasant part. </p><p></p><p>I'd sit on it and do nothing. The kids are entitled to form their own opinions about step mom, either good or bad. It can be brought up at any future custody hearing, but I doubt it will make much difference as it's here say. (child's word against an adults) But if your state is one that allows the child to choose whom they live with after a certain age, well then dear ol' ex is digging himself a hole. </p><p></p><p>I'd be upset it was said where my kids could hear it, no one wants their kids to have to listen to that. But maybe I had too many step parents growing up.....those whom I got along with, those I adored, and those I hated the very sight of, to get very worked up about such things. Somehow it seemed those we hated never lasted very long, if you get my meaning. lol</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 567658, member: 84"] I'm going to play devil's advocate here. (I'm not taking sides, just giving you another way to look at this) You and ex have a volatile relationship. Ex has threatened to sue for custody. Ex is married to a woman the kids don't like. Ex, we also know makes excuses to not see the kids ect. This is enough fuel for any child, difficult child or easy child, to lie (or exaggerate) for a wide variety of reasons. 1. Mad at dad (could be a long list of reasons there alone) 2. Mad at step mom (same thing, many may not even be personal 3. Mad and fed up with the whole situation. I could actually go on, but I think you get the idea. Doesn't matter whether the child is prone to lying or not. Kids often don't have adequate communication tools to voice their opinions and feelings and they tend to do it in other ways. I'm not saying step mom is a gem. I don't know that she is or isn't. If she said that it was over the line.......but even in your description of what happened it sounds as if it was said in anger. And we all know people tend to say things they don't really mean in anger. Having been there done that with the teen years, I'd say you've gotten a major watered down version, or at the least slanted toward a teen's point of view......which we know doesn't always mesh with reality, even with a easy child. Sounds to me like something triggered that outburst. Could be the kids. Could be your ex........attitude with his kids whatever......could be a combination. I don't know how many times during the teen years where I've clearly stated I've hated something one of my kids have done and they've sworn for months that I said I hated them. Used to irk me no end, but that can be part of the typical teen drama. And not a pleasant part. I'd sit on it and do nothing. The kids are entitled to form their own opinions about step mom, either good or bad. It can be brought up at any future custody hearing, but I doubt it will make much difference as it's here say. (child's word against an adults) But if your state is one that allows the child to choose whom they live with after a certain age, well then dear ol' ex is digging himself a hole. I'd be upset it was said where my kids could hear it, no one wants their kids to have to listen to that. But maybe I had too many step parents growing up.....those whom I got along with, those I adored, and those I hated the very sight of, to get very worked up about such things. Somehow it seemed those we hated never lasted very long, if you get my meaning. lol [/QUOTE]
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My kids' stepmom says she hates them.
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