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General Parenting
My life is a wreck and therefore so is my parenting
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 722389" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Megs, this is not my area of expertise, I am mostly on the Parent Emeritus forum for adult troubled kids. However, it's late and there are likely very few members available at this time....so you've got me.......</p><p></p><p>I am so very sorry you find yourself in the place you're in. It sounds as if you've hit a wall and it's all crumbled on top of you. I know how scary that can be. </p><p></p><p>First of all, try taking some deep breaths. Really deep. Do that 5 or 6 times. </p><p></p><p>There are almost always more than 2 options. Often when we see things in an either/or way, we limit our choices and aren't able to see the larger picture, which will offer more alternatives.</p><p></p><p>Having been in the place you find yourself, backed into a corner, stressed to the max, not knowing which way to turn, stuck with a capital S.....I understand how devastating it all feels right now, how completely crazy making it feels. With kids who have issues, the stress level we parents feel is off the charts. You are not alone. Most of us here have a form of PTSD. You've come to the right place to get support. </p><p></p><p>It sounds as if you've limited your choices to either staying and continuing with the intense stress or "leaving." I'm not sure what you mean by "leaving" however, I would encourage you to open up your options and look to see what other options are available. </p><p></p><p>Other members with more experiences with younger children and autism will be around tomorrow to offer you some concrete advice from their experience, there are many parents here with a wealth of wisdom and knowledge who can guide you through. Hang on tight tonight, there's support coming!</p><p></p><p>It also sounds as if you have no support out there in the real world. Look within your support system to see if there is anyone you can call or connect with who will listen and be non judgmental and simply be present for you. If not, I would strongly suggest you find a therapist, someone whom you can safely talk to and express yourself to, so as to get out what is inside you. It is amazing how much that helps, you need to unload a lot of this emotional trauma. If you have trouble finding a therapist, try goodtherapy.org or the Psychology today website.</p><p></p><p>You didn't mention the age of your children, if they have mental issues you can try contacting NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, you can access them online and they have chapters in most cities. They have excellent courses for us parents which offer guidance, support, information and resources.</p><p></p><p>Look around in general parenting and read the stories of others who have similar issues with their kids, you may find what you are looking for on someone else's post, there are literally years of information all over this site.</p><p></p><p>Many mother's here have found relief in taking an antidepressant, even for a limited time, it helps. You may want to give that some thought.</p><p></p><p>My daughter is perhaps your age and she has driven me over the edge more times than I would like to remember. The stress level was almost more than I could bare.......I know exactly how you feel right now.</p><p></p><p>You've arrived at a safe place where we do not judge, we are all parents here, not experts, just taking it one day at a time and offering each other support, hope, comfort, caring, information and understanding. </p><p></p><p>One important issue we all face is having to find ways to take care of ourselves...... when we are so focused on our children, we become exhausted, depleted, depressed and stressed out, it is hard to put one foot in front of the other. Find ways to nurture and nourish yourself. Do kind things for yourself every day. Take breaks with friends. Find your joy. Laugh. Rest. Sleep 8 hours a night. Exercise. Eat well. If you take care of yourself, leaving may cease to be an option.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you're here. Keep posting, it helps a lot. You're not alone. We'll circle the wagons around you and support your choices. Hang in there. <em>This too shall pass.</em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 722389, member: 13542"] Megs, this is not my area of expertise, I am mostly on the Parent Emeritus forum for adult troubled kids. However, it's late and there are likely very few members available at this time....so you've got me....... I am so very sorry you find yourself in the place you're in. It sounds as if you've hit a wall and it's all crumbled on top of you. I know how scary that can be. First of all, try taking some deep breaths. Really deep. Do that 5 or 6 times. There are almost always more than 2 options. Often when we see things in an either/or way, we limit our choices and aren't able to see the larger picture, which will offer more alternatives. Having been in the place you find yourself, backed into a corner, stressed to the max, not knowing which way to turn, stuck with a capital S.....I understand how devastating it all feels right now, how completely crazy making it feels. With kids who have issues, the stress level we parents feel is off the charts. You are not alone. Most of us here have a form of PTSD. You've come to the right place to get support. It sounds as if you've limited your choices to either staying and continuing with the intense stress or "leaving." I'm not sure what you mean by "leaving" however, I would encourage you to open up your options and look to see what other options are available. Other members with more experiences with younger children and autism will be around tomorrow to offer you some concrete advice from their experience, there are many parents here with a wealth of wisdom and knowledge who can guide you through. Hang on tight tonight, there's support coming! It also sounds as if you have no support out there in the real world. Look within your support system to see if there is anyone you can call or connect with who will listen and be non judgmental and simply be present for you. If not, I would strongly suggest you find a therapist, someone whom you can safely talk to and express yourself to, so as to get out what is inside you. It is amazing how much that helps, you need to unload a lot of this emotional trauma. If you have trouble finding a therapist, try goodtherapy.org or the Psychology today website. You didn't mention the age of your children, if they have mental issues you can try contacting NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, you can access them online and they have chapters in most cities. They have excellent courses for us parents which offer guidance, support, information and resources. Look around in general parenting and read the stories of others who have similar issues with their kids, you may find what you are looking for on someone else's post, there are literally years of information all over this site. Many mother's here have found relief in taking an antidepressant, even for a limited time, it helps. You may want to give that some thought. My daughter is perhaps your age and she has driven me over the edge more times than I would like to remember. The stress level was almost more than I could bare.......I know exactly how you feel right now. You've arrived at a safe place where we do not judge, we are all parents here, not experts, just taking it one day at a time and offering each other support, hope, comfort, caring, information and understanding. One important issue we all face is having to find ways to take care of ourselves...... when we are so focused on our children, we become exhausted, depleted, depressed and stressed out, it is hard to put one foot in front of the other. Find ways to nurture and nourish yourself. Do kind things for yourself every day. Take breaks with friends. Find your joy. Laugh. Rest. Sleep 8 hours a night. Exercise. Eat well. If you take care of yourself, leaving may cease to be an option. I'm glad you're here. Keep posting, it helps a lot. You're not alone. We'll circle the wagons around you and support your choices. Hang in there. [I]This too shall pass.[/I] [/QUOTE]
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