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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 129567" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Pamela - a gentle hug. I'm so very sorry - I know it's incredibly frustrating and demoralizing to have to deal with this stuff, with no end and no reason. </p><p> </p><p>I am the queen of wimps. Destruction of property and, if I'm reading between the lines correctly, basically all out raging for hours on end meant a call to 911, transport to hospital, and admission. </p><p> </p><p>Please *please* remember that this behavior has absolutely nothing to do with you. I think there are several of us who have kids who target Mom more than Dad, but I don't believe it's personal. It has nothing to do with love or respect. It's just what it is. No comfort, I know.</p><p> </p><p>I think asking for concrete behaviors sometimes works better, at least with thank you. Asking him for respect would be like asking him for the meaning of life - it's too vague and too subjective (at least to our difficult children). Telling him not to touch things that don't belong to him is concrete. His things are in his room. They don't include door locks, garage openers, etc.</p><p> </p><p>Really, I have this mental image in my head of your evening that is very similar to some of the bad old days with thank you when he went from room to room, spreading destruction and chaos. It was almost sport for thank you. I'm just so sorry.</p><p> </p><p>I hear you about therapy. After 13 years of it with thank you, I'm still on the fence. On the one hand, he verbalizes very well what strategies he should be using (in a calm and cooperative mood, which is rare these days, LOL). on the other hand... he has thus far been pretty inconsistent in actually *using* those strategies. I guess I'm still holding out hope that reinforcement of what he's heard a gazillion times will eventually push him over to actually making use of it. But again, I just don't know.</p><p> </p><p>I hope you got him safely and peacefully to bed and you can take some moments to regroup. A gentle hug to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 129567, member: 8"] Pamela - a gentle hug. I'm so very sorry - I know it's incredibly frustrating and demoralizing to have to deal with this stuff, with no end and no reason. I am the queen of wimps. Destruction of property and, if I'm reading between the lines correctly, basically all out raging for hours on end meant a call to 911, transport to hospital, and admission. Please *please* remember that this behavior has absolutely nothing to do with you. I think there are several of us who have kids who target Mom more than Dad, but I don't believe it's personal. It has nothing to do with love or respect. It's just what it is. No comfort, I know. I think asking for concrete behaviors sometimes works better, at least with thank you. Asking him for respect would be like asking him for the meaning of life - it's too vague and too subjective (at least to our difficult children). Telling him not to touch things that don't belong to him is concrete. His things are in his room. They don't include door locks, garage openers, etc. Really, I have this mental image in my head of your evening that is very similar to some of the bad old days with thank you when he went from room to room, spreading destruction and chaos. It was almost sport for thank you. I'm just so sorry. I hear you about therapy. After 13 years of it with thank you, I'm still on the fence. On the one hand, he verbalizes very well what strategies he should be using (in a calm and cooperative mood, which is rare these days, LOL). on the other hand... he has thus far been pretty inconsistent in actually *using* those strategies. I guess I'm still holding out hope that reinforcement of what he's heard a gazillion times will eventually push him over to actually making use of it. But again, I just don't know. I hope you got him safely and peacefully to bed and you can take some moments to regroup. A gentle hug to you. [/QUOTE]
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