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My Living H.............
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 129689" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Pam, </p><p></p><p>I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I wish over the years I KNEW what triggered the immediate (seemingly) rages of a child when his father was away. I could have DF run to the market- and in a matter of 20 minutes - difficult child was picking and escalating. We figured it was because he cut the weakest parent from the herd. LOL. Not really - but you know there is something about them that allows them to go one on one - or even 10 on one in some cases - but one on one with Mom has always seemed (I guess in his brain) as a fight he could win because....I learned not to fight back (detach) and when you do that I think in their little brains - since they LIVE to win -we become more of a challenge to "win" than if we would just argue and put them in the mind frame they are comfortable with. difficult child lived to be in a chaotic environment, lives still to win at anything. </p><p></p><p>In fact to this day and he's 17 - all I have to do is forget my communication skills and say something joking like - If he tossed a piece of crumpled up paper towards a wastebasket - and missed - and I said "Ohhh swish" - he would come unhinged and take it personally like I was putting him down instead of taking it like I was joking - </p><p></p><p>I swear to heaven on high - it's like living 24-7 with a male who got a super duper dose of teenage PMS and likes to be ugly and creepy all day. </p><p></p><p>Sorry for your hurt - YOU KNOW - you ARE a GREAT Mom. </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 129689, member: 4964"] Pam, I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I wish over the years I KNEW what triggered the immediate (seemingly) rages of a child when his father was away. I could have DF run to the market- and in a matter of 20 minutes - difficult child was picking and escalating. We figured it was because he cut the weakest parent from the herd. LOL. Not really - but you know there is something about them that allows them to go one on one - or even 10 on one in some cases - but one on one with Mom has always seemed (I guess in his brain) as a fight he could win because....I learned not to fight back (detach) and when you do that I think in their little brains - since they LIVE to win -we become more of a challenge to "win" than if we would just argue and put them in the mind frame they are comfortable with. difficult child lived to be in a chaotic environment, lives still to win at anything. In fact to this day and he's 17 - all I have to do is forget my communication skills and say something joking like - If he tossed a piece of crumpled up paper towards a wastebasket - and missed - and I said "Ohhh swish" - he would come unhinged and take it personally like I was putting him down instead of taking it like I was joking - I swear to heaven on high - it's like living 24-7 with a male who got a super duper dose of teenage PMS and likes to be ugly and creepy all day. Sorry for your hurt - YOU KNOW - you ARE a GREAT Mom. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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