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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 129870" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Pamela,</p><p> </p><p>I agree with medications first then therapy once he is stable.</p><p> </p><p>I think you need to take time out and THINK about what you can and can't live with. Can you live with the violence? If not, what are you prepared to do to make sure both you and the animals are safe. When he is raging the animals NEED to be in a different place for their own safety.</p><p> </p><p>I fully agree with having him clean up after a rage AND pay for anything damaged. I KNOW personally my mom and dad used to make me pay DOUBLE. Not sure it was a deterrent, but it happened.</p><p> </p><p>CAN you continue to stay alone with him? Many of us, myself included, have been physically hurt by our difficult children. I always felt it was not fair to put either difficult child or myself in a position where he might do long term damage to me. He would feel real remorse long after, and I didn't think that was good with a child who tended to be suicidal. What will it do long term to difficult child if/when he hurts you and leaves lasting damage? What can you do to prevent it?? Know any big bruiser type guys who are family friends and would come over to stay with you? Or even another female friend?</p><p> </p><p>At the very least, violence should result in a call to 911 and transport to a hospital for evaluation and admittance.</p><p> </p><p>Personally, from talks with my difficult child long after he started living with my parents, I know the rages that only I was honored to be the target of were BECAUSE he knew I would still love him, no matter what. And I do, and will. He has never had a very close relationship with his dad, so he was afraid Dad would leave or something. I think this is why moms get a lot more of the rages. </p><p> </p><p>The other reason my difficult child raged around me was because he KNEW I would get more help for him, and that his dad wouldn't make the calls to the docs. AND he knew that if he only acted like that around me, other adults in our lives would start to doubt everything I said, and pity him for having a mom who said such horrible lies about him. Twisted, but true.</p><p> </p><p>I hope you can work out a PLAN for next time. And I like the idea of modelling respect for him. Modelling proper treatment of the animals would also be good.</p><p> </p><p>Sending huge hugs,</p><p> </p><p>Susie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 129870, member: 1233"] Pamela, I agree with medications first then therapy once he is stable. I think you need to take time out and THINK about what you can and can't live with. Can you live with the violence? If not, what are you prepared to do to make sure both you and the animals are safe. When he is raging the animals NEED to be in a different place for their own safety. I fully agree with having him clean up after a rage AND pay for anything damaged. I KNOW personally my mom and dad used to make me pay DOUBLE. Not sure it was a deterrent, but it happened. CAN you continue to stay alone with him? Many of us, myself included, have been physically hurt by our difficult children. I always felt it was not fair to put either difficult child or myself in a position where he might do long term damage to me. He would feel real remorse long after, and I didn't think that was good with a child who tended to be suicidal. What will it do long term to difficult child if/when he hurts you and leaves lasting damage? What can you do to prevent it?? Know any big bruiser type guys who are family friends and would come over to stay with you? Or even another female friend? At the very least, violence should result in a call to 911 and transport to a hospital for evaluation and admittance. Personally, from talks with my difficult child long after he started living with my parents, I know the rages that only I was honored to be the target of were BECAUSE he knew I would still love him, no matter what. And I do, and will. He has never had a very close relationship with his dad, so he was afraid Dad would leave or something. I think this is why moms get a lot more of the rages. The other reason my difficult child raged around me was because he KNEW I would get more help for him, and that his dad wouldn't make the calls to the docs. AND he knew that if he only acted like that around me, other adults in our lives would start to doubt everything I said, and pity him for having a mom who said such horrible lies about him. Twisted, but true. I hope you can work out a PLAN for next time. And I like the idea of modelling respect for him. Modelling proper treatment of the animals would also be good. Sending huge hugs, Susie [/QUOTE]
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