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My mom passed away
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 145371" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Here's a thought about being a pall bearer. </p><p> </p><p>Who would you rather have carry your Mother to her final resting place? You or someone she didn't know? </p><p>When my grandma passed - I was pregnant with Dude and insisted on being a pall bearer - I couldn't imagine that none of my MALE cousins "couldn't handle it" and thus I said - Well WHATVER - but put me in the middle. The funeral home had a fit due to the pregnancy and I said -If you put 4 STRONG men on the corners - and me in the middle - I don't think I'll be lifting much - but can do it that way - and THEN all the cousins found out 5 strangers and ME were going to be pall bearers and finally some of the older men in my family spoke up - so in the end it was me and 5 "men" (opinion still out on that with me) </p><p> </p><p>The other thought - on you being a pall bearer? </p><p> </p><p>My sister - could not manage funerals of any kind. Our Father's was the first she managed to go to and even then it was a memorial service as he was cremated. </p><p> </p><p>I would not have made PLANS for her to be anything she was not comfortable with - so my suggestion if the above mentioned is still not doeable with you - Call your sister and tell her that while you are proud of her for making the arrangements and stepping up like she did, unfortunately you are not able to do what she has planned in having you as a pall bearer. Don't apologize - it's not like you were asked, and you don't owe anyone an explaination - just tell her - you are not able to do what she has planned.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 145371, member: 4964"] Here's a thought about being a pall bearer. Who would you rather have carry your Mother to her final resting place? You or someone she didn't know? When my grandma passed - I was pregnant with Dude and insisted on being a pall bearer - I couldn't imagine that none of my MALE cousins "couldn't handle it" and thus I said - Well WHATVER - but put me in the middle. The funeral home had a fit due to the pregnancy and I said -If you put 4 STRONG men on the corners - and me in the middle - I don't think I'll be lifting much - but can do it that way - and THEN all the cousins found out 5 strangers and ME were going to be pall bearers and finally some of the older men in my family spoke up - so in the end it was me and 5 "men" (opinion still out on that with me) The other thought - on you being a pall bearer? My sister - could not manage funerals of any kind. Our Father's was the first she managed to go to and even then it was a memorial service as he was cremated. I would not have made PLANS for her to be anything she was not comfortable with - so my suggestion if the above mentioned is still not doeable with you - Call your sister and tell her that while you are proud of her for making the arrangements and stepping up like she did, unfortunately you are not able to do what she has planned in having you as a pall bearer. Don't apologize - it's not like you were asked, and you don't owe anyone an explaination - just tell her - you are not able to do what she has planned. [/QUOTE]
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