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Family of Origin
My own misperceptions exposed and explained briefly
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 678555" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Serenity, people change. Circumstances change. It does not mean that we were wrong, that we mis-perceived. Especially it did not mean we were foolish. That is what I think.</p><p></p><p>We change when we see the need to, and the advisability of this. You, like every other person, is and was part of a family system. Everybody has their piece of responsibility in this. To believe that you are the fool in this, cannot be so. If there was foolishness, everybody has a part. You, I, everybody.</p><p></p><p>We can mourn the past. Like I did with my mother. And I felt my whole life to have been a lie and to have been lived badly. There was no way to go back and change that. You and Cedar, helped me see that I acted for all of those years, for good reason. I will never again betray myself by putting upon myself all of the "blame" or "foolishness." I was helped through this by you both.</p><p></p><p>These times as our parents die, bring up all kinds of horribleness, not just the loss, but loss of parts of ourselves. We need to stay present and try not to abandon ourselves. This is not what your father wants, and I do not believe you want that either.</p><p></p><p>You have worked too hard. Stay present. Try not to look back, and to judge. Yourself or anybody else. That is our task. Especially with our parents. Because after all they are us and we are them more than we will ever be able to know.</p><p></p><p>We are with you. I hope I am not being harsh.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 678555, member: 18958"] Serenity, people change. Circumstances change. It does not mean that we were wrong, that we mis-perceived. Especially it did not mean we were foolish. That is what I think. We change when we see the need to, and the advisability of this. You, like every other person, is and was part of a family system. Everybody has their piece of responsibility in this. To believe that you are the fool in this, cannot be so. If there was foolishness, everybody has a part. You, I, everybody. We can mourn the past. Like I did with my mother. And I felt my whole life to have been a lie and to have been lived badly. There was no way to go back and change that. You and Cedar, helped me see that I acted for all of those years, for good reason. I will never again betray myself by putting upon myself all of the "blame" or "foolishness." I was helped through this by you both. These times as our parents die, bring up all kinds of horribleness, not just the loss, but loss of parts of ourselves. We need to stay present and try not to abandon ourselves. This is not what your father wants, and I do not believe you want that either. You have worked too hard. Stay present. Try not to look back, and to judge. Yourself or anybody else. That is our task. Especially with our parents. Because after all they are us and we are them more than we will ever be able to know. We are with you. I hope I am not being harsh. COPA [/QUOTE]
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My own misperceptions exposed and explained briefly
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